New Year, New Word, New Love

Kicking off 2025 with a bang, we embrace a whole new way to tackle New Year's resolutions. Instead of the usual daunting list, we're championing the power of a single guiding word to shape our journey ahead. Kitty reflected on last year's mantra, "reach," we eagerly anticipate unveiling her new word for the year, sharing insights on why manageable goals often trump sweeping resolutions. Celebrate with us as we reframe New Year's from a reminder of passing time into an opportunity for renewal and growth, backed by a fresh perspective and a touch of personal change.

Navigating the dating scene in your fifties is no walk in the park, especially with today's modern quirks and challenges. Amy shares candid stories about first dates, ghosting, and the notorious "ick" factor, offering a humorous yet realistic look at love in midlife. From the importance of actions over words to the value of a "slow burn" romance, she unravels myths and truths about dating dynamics. Plus, we explore how friends can be pivotal matchmakers, making the journey a little less daunting and a lot more fun.

As we close out the episode, we dive into the art of balancing personal and professional goals with a positive outlook. Drawing inspiration from Mel Robbins, we highlight the importance of surrounding yourself with joy-filled activities and relationships while cutting out negativity. Through anecdotes and practical tips, we emphasize recognizing small victories and maintaining a mindset that propels you forward. With a festive spirit and an optimistic outlook, we toast to new beginnings and the exciting journey ahead, eager to embrace good times with friends and cherished moments.

Make sure to subscribe to our channel, comment, like, and share!

Amy, Kitty & Stacey

P.S. Isn't our intro music great?! Yah, we think so too. Thank you, Ivy States for "I Got That Wow".

Chapters

• 0:05 New Year's Resolutions and Mindsets
• 17:22 Navigating Dating in Midlife
• 31:35 Setting Goals and Finding Joy
• 44:17 Celebrating New Beginnings

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:05

All right, look I got that. Wow, who wants some handsome right now? We got that. Turn it up loud. I know you're wondering how.

Speaker 2: 0:15

I got that. Wow, here I go. Here I go, coming. I can't ever stop. I'm a tour de force running. Get me to the top, I don't need a Hello ladies M, hello, ladies, hello, hello, hello.

Speaker 3: 0:31

Welcome to Three Cocktails In, where we have addicting conversations Between friends who have been there, done that, still want more. Yes, this would be Go ahead. Sometimes you just want more. Yes, this would be yeah go ahead.

Speaker 4: 0:47

Sometimes you just want more. What was? The commercial it was a progressive commercial. It aired at a super bowl like two years ago and it's a little girl and I still love that and I think about it all the time sometimes you just want more Just want more.

Speaker 5: 1:05

For sure, your words have never been spoken.

Speaker 3: 1:11

It's also kind of appropriate for the theme Right, because this will be our first episode of the new year 2025. Whoop, whoop, eee, yes, so we're going to talk. Yeah, we're going to talk about if we have any new year's resolutions. And, based on our episode the first one for 2024, where we talked about this we're really not a big fan. Not a big fan of actual, actual resolutions so honestly have no idea what we'll talk about this one.

Speaker 3: 1:52

You know what we did, if we did anything, we might not have done anything, who knows so?

Speaker 5: 1:58

and I am actually not a fan of new year's period.

Speaker 3: 2:03

Yes, you talked about this last year too. Yeah, not a fan, I've never reminded me. Yeah, yeah, remind us of your thoughts. Aversion.

Speaker 5: 2:13

Aversion, my, my pessimistic view. I mean so here, and I mean really that's what it is, and it's it puzzles me, because I feel like I am a very positive person At least I think I am. I try to look at the positive, but in regard to New Year's, I always look at it as another year gone instead of looking at as a new year in front of me. So it's one of the reasons why, for a while there we got into the mode we would have a party every year, because I did not want to not go and do something and yet I didn't want to be out in the bars and on the road and whatever. So we would have a party and that helped me over at the hump. Um, that, that was fun.

Speaker 5: 3:02

But I have a different outlook on this this year. Yay, good, I know, and it is because I changed my situation this year. So I, you know, last year, when we were talking about going into the, into this new year, I was working at a job that was fine that's that four letter word that none of us like and I didn't have clarity at that point. I didn't know that I was going to be able to make this change that I did, but I knew that something was going to have to happen. I just didn't, I just didn't know what it was. So, um, I, I have a whole, I have a much more positive view going into the new year, because now I'm doing what I love to do, so I'm, I am, I'm excited about what this new year is going to bring.

Speaker 3: 3:58

That's awesome. It is, yeah, maybe a lesson for the rest of us. You know, figure it out and just jump in, take a leap.

Speaker 4: 4:07

2025 yeah yes, because, um, when you were saying you, you didn't like one more year gone. It reminds me of kitty on vacation you're good and then you get, you get on the downhill and then suddenly you're in your own mood because you just start thinking about having to leave.

Speaker 3: 4:32

I think it's not even the downhill. It's not even the downhill is it Isn't it at the very beginning. You're already thinking ahead. I only have seven days left.

Speaker 5: 4:44

I only have six days, you only have six you know, already thinking that that way yeah, it starts on like the first day and I say this bill, bill has to be on the receiving end of this all the time. First day that I took that well. So when I've never liked new year's, I also don't like resolutions, because I just think that it's there's, it's just too much pressure. So I've just never, never, ever, ever liked that. So I have adopted a uh an approach where I pick a word for the year.

Speaker 5: 5:34

And this is working for me. So last year I picked my word was reach and I had it written on post-its. I had it in my bathroom, on the refrigerator down in my jewelry room. I had it wherever I was most, so that I was always looking at it and that word was really meaningful to me. It was a pretty big reach for me to go from where I was to where I needed to be, to let my job go. So that was just where I had all of my focus and attention and I really like it. So that's what I'm going to do again this year, and I haven't landed on my word yet. Oh, you don't have it picked. I've got a short list, so by Wednesday I will have it.

Speaker 4: 6:24

The finalist will be next episode. You'll be reading out of the envelope. The winner is that's right yeah, good yeah.

Speaker 3: 6:33

That's a better mindset, or at least it helps you with a positive mindset.

Speaker 5: 6:40

Yeah, I think so and it's. I mean we, the statistics around people keeping their new year's resolutions, it's not good. And I mean you know, within two weeks a large percentage have already thrown it out the window. And you know, by three months in, you know, it's gone pretty much for everybody. And I think it's just because people they pick, they try to redesign their entire.

Speaker 4: 7:10

It's too much, it's too much pressure Too big, it's too big, and I think we talked about this last year that you know it's great to have the big goal, but you've got to be breaking it down into much more small, much more smaller. Oh my God, much smaller, um attainable steps. And it's those daily steps that help get you. And so, by putting the word reach in all different aspects of what, whatever it is you're doing, you're reminding yourself little by little. My um, you know, kitty gave me a board with with all the letters and I have on it and.

Speaker 4: 7:56

I've had it on there for a long time, but one foot forward every day, mm-hmm, you know, just just little by little, I think. I think that setting new year's resolutions is january. As I've said before, in the northern climate it's the absolute worst time for me to be embarking on something majorly new. And also why january 1st it's so arbitrary. I mean, it's just a calendar date, it's on a Wednesday, it's the middle of you know why is this Wednesday any more special than any other Wednesday?

Speaker 3: 8:39

Just the slip of the calendar Something new. You know you're starting anew, but yes, January is the worst time. It is the worst.

Speaker 4: 8:48

I did something new this year. Oh boy, that has to do similar to this. You guys know how much if you've listened to any of the earlier episodes you know how much I hate goals and what's your why. You know can't stand that. But had to fill out a goal sheet for work and they had like 16 different categories and I just started laughing. I'm like, no, not filling out all 16. No, so I worked out, doing the math, how much money I wanted to earn this year.

Speaker 4: 9:25

But I'm in a new neighborhood and so I had to, being somewhat of a numbers person, I had to wait and I had to ask my manager. I'm like what was expected out of this neighborhood last year? I can see what was done. What was the goal for last year? What was you know? I can't just pick some goal when I have no data to base it on. Yeah, because now I'm selling much larger, traditional, more expensive, very expensive homes. Well, I mean not like million dollar homes, but expensive homes. You're just not going to sell as many of those, although.

Speaker 4: 10:05

So I did the math. I did the math and I'm going to have to sell a crap ton of homes to get where I want to be, which is a reach over last year. Okay, I'm already down three. I've broken it into quarters, you know that's how our goals align, so my goals are different than the goals they have set, and I'll find out what that is. But, oh my gosh, so I did it. I did it actually kind of based on some math and I can track it a little bit. But my problem with those are like, when I don't hit it, my mindset goes to well, I'm already three behind instead of I'm three over what they set forth for me yeah, and I'm only three behind.

Speaker 5: 11:02

I'm only three behind.

Speaker 4: 11:04

I could be way more behind than I am. There's always next month, well, if you know. But that that was something kind of new and different I had to think about. Where are these extra home sales going to come from? You know, to be built versus existing, because I don't have that many homes in the ground and they're not going to build me that many homes. Yeah, in the next year, um, I'm going to have to find sales in other neighborhoods. I'm going to have to find people who want to build a home in my neighborhood. So it's forcing me to uh attack other ways of reaching consumers and realtors.

Speaker 3: 11:50

Rethinking how you're going to reach your goals.

Speaker 4: 11:55

Yeah, I'm just going to have to employ some different tactics that I've had to do Townhomes to big single-family homes, different market different, different areas of the metro, different buyer. That's coming in, um. So yeah, it's, it's going to be good, but I feel like the first couple months I've just been in learning mode.

Speaker 3: 12:23

So well, that's your business life. How about your personal life? You were making big changes last year, so how did yes?

Speaker 4: 12:35

yes, so last year, about this episode I think it was this this episode where, uh, the Amy's got the blues, uh, I talked about the, the breakup that I'd had, that I wasn't. I hadn't expected, um, kind of a shake-up in that part of my life. I know. In a later episode I talked about how some of the things I did want to accomplish in 2024 one of them was, you know, I wanted to fall in love again. Well, that hasn't happened. I have my list of match dates that I've been on. Do you guys want to run down? No, well, no, but okay. So remember, this is a social experiment for all of you at home that don't have the opportunity to be on match when you're 50 something years old. So I'm here for you. I'm giving in this way. I went on at least one date with 12 different men this year.

Speaker 3: 13:44

There you go.

Speaker 4: 13:45

Okay, um, of those six, half 50% were one and done. Okay, one date Not not going to work, yep, um, two of them I went on two dates with, just to confirm what I pretty much already knew on the first date. But you know, um, two people I dated for like a month. So maybe, you know, maybe had like six dates, maybe in a month time, a little bit more than maybe once a week, sort of thing. One I dated for about three months, you know kind of thing, um, and, and one I am three dates in to end the year.

Speaker 4: 14:38

Okay, what have I learned from this experience? What have you learned? It is really good to have an open mind. I don't know if it helps in finding somebody to date. No, it does.

Speaker 4: 15:03

I tried very hard to not get stuck on a certain set of criteria. So I dated, I went on dates with somebody who was the youngest, was 48. Went on two dates with 48 year old. I dated somebody who was is 65. So I did kind of the plus or minus range. I dated somebody who was unemployed but was, like you know, cobbling together some work. I dated somebody who was ready for retirement, had a retirement plan. I think only one of them had kids at home Kind of, and I was pretty right on that one. I think that still holds pretty true that dating somebody with kids at home. It's hard enough getting two adult calendars to match, especially with my. You know schedule a little bit With kids in school. Your weekends are the thing that's you know know, and they're not gonna be able. Thursday night is not their friday night. So you know, wednesday night is not a friday night sort name I have not.

Speaker 5: 16:35

I yeah, Was it so? Was it in any way what you imagined dating was going to be when you became single?

Speaker 4: 16:52

Well, I did discover that I don't know how to date. It's so it feels so different than dating in college, which was honestly the last time I dated. You know, there was no internet in college. We were in college. Where did you meet? You had classes with people, you were in the gym with people, you were at bars with people. Your roommate had friends. I mean, it was just so much easier to meet people.

Speaker 4: 17:22

So what I've discovered is men in this age range have very different ideas of what a relationship means. Start a serious relationship. So so the filters, the things that I was pretty pretty stuck on. There was only one thing that was a deal breaker, only one, and that was they had to be. They couldn't be separated. They had to be divorced, widowed, single. They could not be separated. Now people can lie about that, but if anybody said that I didn't even, I didn't want to have a conversation with them, um, yeah, but once you get to that, you know. One of the things is you could say you don't know what you want yet you could say you're just to see who's out there. You want to be in a serious relationship. I put be in a serious relationship. I did state my political affiliation. I don't smoke. You know, I drink socially. You know different little things like that. I have also learned that men don't read.

Speaker 3: 18:43

Duh, you thought they did.

Speaker 4: 18:47

Yeah, they don't read you thought they listened or read. No, no, read, no, no, um. So I get a lot of comment or I get a lot of people, men reaching out and I'm like did you read my profile? There is nothing on my profile other than we are both single. Going on first dates sight unseen was pretty much what I thought it would be. It's a little awkward, but also you know what you got to have the open for business sign on.

Speaker 4: 19:24

You got to put yourself out there. Fortunately, I can talk to pretty much anybody. There were only a couple where I was like you know how, how you know. I felt the need to be polite and stay younger women.

Speaker 4: 19:41

I've noticed they feel no need to be polite, or so they say, on reels and Instagram and stuff. So I'm still a little old school that way. You know I would not. Just, you are not what you profess to be and we're not gonna be a match, so let's just not waste any more time. Yeah, I was ghosted, seriously ghosted where, and that was a person that I saw for almost three months. I got a series of excuses why we couldn't see each other and I would ask and I guess, another kind of tall tale and then nothing. I still have no idea why. We're mid fifties, jess, yeah.

Speaker 3: 20:33

Yeah interesting. So do you think there's anything you can do that'll make it different this year?

Speaker 4: 20:41

um, be careful, because the person I'm seeing has been listening to these, so that's kind of interesting. He's very interested in my life and all you.

Speaker 4: 20:54

You know it's it's. It's a new type of relationship. Let me put it that way it could be a new type of relationship. You know so many people say it's not about what they say, it's about what they do you want. It's it's actions, not words, which I think is really, really. That's. That's a thing to watch in all your relationships, and I would not have thought it about it that way before, but it's. It really is true. People can say whatever they want, but you got to watch what they actually do, um, what they actually do. So that's something that I need to pay closer attention to.

Speaker 4: 21:48

Very interesting woman who used to work at Google as their no, not Google at Hinge, maybe as their chief relationship officer, I don't know. Okay, plug your ears if you don't like swears. Um, she wrote a book and the chapter that she talks about most is F the spark that you cannot rely on. That that only 11% of successfully coupled people say that it was love at first sight and that you're shooting for a slow burn. You are that. That is the sign of the of the best relationships, so all that's very new.

Speaker 4: 22:28

When you first start dating, you're kind of like a kid in a candy shop. You're like, oh, he's cute, he's cute, he's cute. And you meet him and you're like, oh, he's cute, he's cute, he's cute. And you beat him and you're like, oh, you, yeah, you know, you know, sort of thing, and I'm sure people thought that about. I mean, maybe they didn't think I was cute, but I got some messages back that were nice and said, hey, had a very nice time meeting you. You seem like a great person. Just didn't feel that I wish you the best life.

Speaker 4: 22:51

Yeah, so I don't know, I don't know people. It's a whole new world. This falls into the thing that I think we're gonna. We're gonna maybe hit on pretty hard in january or throughout 2025. The three of us, um, yeah, but if you are coupled up and even if you are not, if you have a single friend, you need to be on the lookout for that single friend. You need to be. Who do you know? Who do you work with? Who have you met that you could introduce somebody to? Mm-hmm? Yeah, because it can't just be online.

Speaker 5: 23:38

And I mean you two know me yeah, so I'm always got my eyes open.

Speaker 4: 23:46

I'm always looking for you, okay, thank you yes thank you, yeah, so, so that that was my um, that was my love life.

Speaker 3: 23:58

Oh, I know. Yeah, see the rest of us that have been married forever, we're just. We just like to hear the stories and what it's like, and most of the time, thankful that it's not that weird that it's you and not us.

Speaker 4: 24:15

Yeah, well, well, okay. So some other point. We'll talk about the ick. You know, when you meet somebody and find you know the ick, yeah. That is. That was. That is what I determined that Captain Morgan's and Coke was. That was the ick for me. You listen to one of our past episodes. I was talking about going on a date with somebody at this beautiful bar. Anywhere there's like a captain coke you know. Come on, you guys cannot tell me I'm the only one that has a weird quirk.

Speaker 3: 24:56

No, that's. I know that's a thing, I know it's a thing. Um, at the same time I want to think, oh, that's a piddly thing, you know there has to be. I don't know that, that, that that's a a piddly thing to not like someone on. I don't know. You know what I mean that wasn't, so.

Speaker 5: 25:20

Maybe that Amy ended up being like yep, that's the deciding factor, or something yeah, oh, I can understand, yeah, yeah like when people say you're regardless.

Speaker 4: 25:39

Or mute, it's a moot point, A moot From friends. When Joey said it's a moot point, it's a cow's opinion. So what does it really matter? Jennifer Ann Rachel says how about that?

Speaker 3: 25:53

Tim Todd and his I so?

Speaker 5: 25:58

miss Friends. I believe it's that old, no, 30 years, and I watch it every day. Oh yeah, it's on. It's always good to have on. I do.

Speaker 3: 26:10

That's my bedtime routine you just kind of listen to some of it and remember, yeah, yeah, when I was listening to Kitty's start to why she doesn't like New Year, I think I kind of identified that's what happens on my birthday or around my birthday. It's like I keep thinking, oh man, you know, here's another one, it was an awesome year, but here's another one, another year, gone, you know. So I get your new year's thing too, you know, but, like I said, I think it's for me birthdays. It's like, eh, there's another year and now we get to do this next year. And you know, although my year I plan on this being an awesome year um already has been um, I have a different view behind me today because I'm at my son and daughter-in-law's because they had um little Mr Theo Jackson five days ago, little Mr Theo Jackson five days ago.

Speaker 3: 27:18

So I'm here helping, you know, as much as I help, I mostly sit, but I do an occasional load of laundry and, you know, make a meal. Oh, and I keep trying to teach him how to, um, you know, wrap, wrap the wrap him up so his arms don't get out, because they just, you know, they're so dainty with him and I just whip this one around and tuck it under, and then he can't get away. Hey, you should do the old jamming.

Speaker 4: 27:46

One of my babies wouldn't take a pacifier. My mom was pro pacifier Jamming it in there, all the time and I'm pretty sure it was Madeline because I was horrified but she stuck it in Madeline's mouth and she put both Madeline upside down, so there was no way she could spit that thing out.

Speaker 3: 28:07

She couldn't get out of it.

Speaker 4: 28:12

How to horrify your kids by things our parents did Right.

Speaker 3: 28:18

Well, even us, to compare to what they do today. Um, and I joke occasionally, like you know, to my kids and they roll their eyes, like you know, this is not what I needed for you to tell me that it's amazing that they lived. You know that we kept them alive with no schedule, no this, no that, and you know it's amazing they lived.

Speaker 4: 28:44

Yeah, um, on that note, can I tell a funny story that came up Monday night, so um got to have dinner with all three daughters, my son-in-law and um. We're sitting around and the youngest doesn't drink pop hardly ever sitting around, and the youngest doesn't drink pop hardly ever, and the oldest never used to, but she ordered a diet Coke. And then you've got Georgia and I, which are if we could have a tap in our house, we would be so happy.

Speaker 4: 29:14

And so, you know, ava was saying well, you know, just drink the full stuff, the classic is so much better for you than diet. And I said, okay, you know, just drink the full stuff, the classic is so much better for you than diet. And I said, okay, well, maybe, but you know what, based on the amount of aspartamine I have in my system, if I was going to grow a third arm, it would already be there. And I quit laughing and Ava goes uh, you did have two things, surgery for two things that were removed out of your chest, that weren't supposed to be growing there. And I started laughing so hard and Georgia, bless her heart, pipes in with correlation is not causation, so that that was the saving grace. So, yeah, me trying to tell them look, I turned out fine. And they did actually point out I did have two, two, two very odd growths removed from my body.

Speaker 3: 30:07

So yeah, we're not going to correlate them, though?

Speaker 4: 30:10

no, no no kids keeping us real right. I didn't even think about that, me neither, and none of and none of the doctors suggested that to me. Neither one of those issues were caused by Diet Coke, yeah, so yeah, no, couldn't be.

Speaker 4: 30:30

So does any Kitty. You're going to settle on a word for next year Stacey's going to have two grandbabies to have fun with all year. Um, stacy's gonna have two grandbabies to have fun with all year. Um, do either of you guys have kind of um things, projects, trips, things that you're looking forward to in the next year? I know that we've talked about that quite a bit, that a lot of times the joy of planning something you know can be very inspiring and motivating, and maybe, maybe the new year should just be about motivation, not about you know reworking your whole damn life.

Speaker 5: 31:13

Yeah, yeah. Well, we I think I might've mentioned this when we were together last so we're going to the Dominican in February and then I have I end up having two paparazzi trips every year so our big convention in July, which is so fun, so I can't wait to get that. I'm on pace to hit my goals again, to hit diamond. So I'll get that diamond trip again in September. So those these are kind of anchored onto the calendar. And then I'm thinking about what I can pop in In the middle.

Speaker 3: 31:54

Yeah, we just got back from a big trip to Aruba, so I need to make a new. You know, I need to find one, find the next trip to look forward to. I'm not sure where that will be, we'll see.

Speaker 4: 32:17

I don't know if I'll make my sales trip for sure. I am working hard at it, but that sales trip that I won last year that kitty was my plus one it's gonna be a tough one. I am. I'm behind in order to go and I've only got two more months to meet goal, so I'd have to have a pretty damn amazing January February. So I'll just have to treat myself too, so I won't get to go to the bahamas this year on the company's dime yeah well, yeah, you still might number one, and let's say you don't.

Speaker 3: 32:59

I would assume that sales trip is for. You know, not everybody gets to go correct, correct, isn't it? For above and beyond, right.

Speaker 4: 33:08

So um, how many do you think there were last year? 20, some, yeah yeah, and there's only 30, some on the trip, I mean 30, some on the some on the trip, I mean 30, some on the salespeople. Usually it's pretty attainable, but now that I think about it, I don't know if there were a ton of people that sold traditional homes, just traditional homes. There aren't too many neighborhoods that that's our only product, but I would need to sell 11 traditional homes in the next two months.

Speaker 3: 33:48

There, you go you can do it. Now that Christmas is over, maybe people will start thinking about it again.

Speaker 4: 33:56

Yeah, so if you're looking in the Metro area, the West Metro area. Please look me up.

Speaker 3: 34:01

Here's the plug.

Speaker 4: 34:03

Right, they're beautiful homes come with warranty. Um yeah, so I don't know. I'm gonna do another vacation.

Speaker 3: 34:15

I want another big one. We'll see whether it's uh who's going with there.

Speaker 4: 34:22

You go, yeah, yeah, well, you know, kitty and I are always up for vacation. Yeah, well, kitty's already got three planned well, she can fit in another.

Speaker 5: 34:28

Yeah can you ask your boss? Kitty, I can speak with my boss there you go I mean, you know, if I, if I am exceeding my monthly goals, there you go, then you can go.

Speaker 5: 34:43

Then I can go Right, yeah, so I did find something and I took some screenshots of this. That might be a good. Where are we at on time? So we're probably getting closer, okay, um, so, and again, this comes from our good friend, mel Robbins. Um, but she doesn't seem to take the to have a lot of focus on resolutions either. Um, but her post that this might've been I don't know if it was a story or if it was a reel from yesterday there were seven, seven things that can make your 2025 great. Um, so go and check her out on on Instagram.

Speaker 5: 35:29

But so here's an example. Number one what are the people, experiences and commitments that created positive feelings, energy and memories for you this year? So, what were those things that made you feel good? And then and then, what are the people, experiences and commitments that triggered negative feelings, energy and emotions for you this year? What did you learn about yourself?

Speaker 5: 35:57

What are you going to stop doing in the coming year? What are you going to start doing? What are you going to continue doing? What can you, what can you do today to take the first step in the direction toward making 2025 the best year yet, and that? So, um, I don't think it was a traction thing. Maybe it was a traction thing, but the whole what? What can we start doing? What can we stop doing? What do we need to do more of those? Those things are used in business all the time and I think that's that's a really smart way to look at just little I don't want to say changes little adjustments that you can make in your life, and I think it all does boil down to what makes me happy and how can I do more of that and do less of the shit that makes me crazy and unhappy.

Speaker 4: 37:00

I'd agree with that.

Speaker 3: 37:01

Yes, for sure, yep. Get rid of the bad. Out with the bad, in with the good.

Speaker 4: 37:11

I think part of that also comes back to mindset. You only have so much energy. Why are you going to spend your energy on people, places and things that are negative? Why give more fuel to that fire when you could be directing it towards the things that are within your control, the things that bring you joy, the people that make you happy and the accomplishments, whatever they are be it a clean house and folded laundry that make you feel like you've done something well today?

Speaker 4: 37:55

Yep, you know I'm a horrible golfer. I am a horrible golfer, but I try and look at those 18 holes and not care at all about the score. But if I can find one good thing that I have done every hole, sometimes maybe it's a putt, Sometimes maybe it's a drive, Sometimes maybe it's the gorgeous flowers that are over here that I get to see as I'm looking for my ball. I try to try and see the one good thing that you've done, because I think you've got to find the positives If you're trying to tackle something bigger to keep yourself going. And it comes back to mindset, yeah.

Speaker 3: 38:47

Expectations going and it comes back to mindset. Yeah, yep, expectations we.

Speaker 4: 38:49

We talked about that a lot early on in the podcast. You know, yeah, what you're adjusting the expectations, yeah for sure, and working towards your own expectations, not not somebody's expectations of you.

Speaker 3: 39:02

Yep, yep or for you Yep, yeah, okay. Does anybody have a shot before we end this episode?

Speaker 4: 39:11

I do, Actually it's more of a tip. We are into sharing tips, right.

Speaker 5: 39:16

Yep.

Speaker 4: 39:17

Okay, this is the season of dry, staticky, know everything, everything. I have a tip for fuzzy, flyaway hair get yourself a softener sheet and just rub the softener sheet over your hair. I then put one in my in a ziplock bag and I put it in my purse and it seriously gets rid of all the flyaways. No hair, I mean. Sometimes I put a little hairspray or something in, but that doesn't matter. Doesn't matter if you start your day with hairspray. By the second time you've taken your coat on and off that little softener sheet. Just put another. Done. No more staticky hair cool.

Speaker 3: 40:08

That's a good tip, that's a good one, kitty do you have anything.

Speaker 5: 40:14

So I went on my quest. Um, today, actually got it today for my planner for the year. Oh, I'm going to buy one shortly, yes, so I get so excited about these, so this was actually the best buy in the world. I got this at Target. Look how pretty it is. It says my life, my business, and it's not a business planner, it's a normal. It's a normal planner, yeah, so it's got your month and then it's got the breakdown of the weeks and it's got some places for you know goals and stuff like that. But it's not over the top. It's not like you know what are your intentions and how did you feel at the end of the day. It's, those things are great. I think there's some people who love that type of journal entry, but this is just a planner. Anyway, this was on an end cap in the clearance and there was a whole stack of them. Oh, how much. This was $3. Oh, my God, oh. Look at this thing. Yeah, that was a good. Oh, my God, oh look at this thing.

Speaker 3: 41:22

Yeah, that was a good one.

Speaker 5: 41:24

So I believe you could still find these at Target right now. Target in Cheska had probably 10 of them, wow.

Speaker 4: 41:33

Nice, were they all the same design.

Speaker 5: 41:37

It was. Yeah, it was a stack of this one and I didn't. So who's the? This is Tabitha Brown, is the um? Is the designer of this one? I think she does a lot of stuff for Target, so I don't know. Um, maybe there are other designs as well. But so that is my tip Go get yourself a planner, because and I mean, this might be a little big too.

Speaker 5: 42:06

You know, this is a big spiral bound. I work from home so I don't have to carry this around. But then there's, I remember. So this is Lori's deal, right? Lori, our other friend, lori, other friends she will always have one of these in her purse. It can be as simple as just the month. That just helps you keep a little bit better track of what you have going on. So, from the simplicity of this to the more detail of this, these things can be really, really helpful to help you focus, focus, focus on what's most important to you and what you deem to be most important to you as you go into this new year. Right, it's going to be great.

Speaker 3: 43:01

Right, it's going to be great. It is going to be great. I'm going to preface. We haven't really got the details for this, but we do have an idea of a coming up episode that is going to be more of a year long, year long progress. Possibly, um, we're going to talk in one of the next episodes on how, at our age, you make good friends, not just, um, you know acquaintances or maybe you want to move an acquaintance to a good friend, but how, at our age, um, you know what are some of the tips, ideas, whatever, about making new friends in 2025?

Speaker 4: 43:46

Yeah, I'm really excited to talk about this kind of as an ongoing thing. It's come up. It's come up so often. We've got some people wrote in on things that they'd like to have us talk about. I have seen it in a couple of different uh, other other channels sort of things, where people not just women, but men are talking about how you make friends and uh, I think everybody, everyone can benefit from this, so I'm excited about that. For 2025, I am too.

Speaker 3: 44:20

I am too. Well, our time is up. Look at that, I know, look at that. So three cocktails in is going to sign out?

Speaker 5: 44:31

alright peace, peace out everybody happy new year see you soon, all right.

Speaker 2: 44:58

Look, I can't ever stop. I'ma tour the forest running. Get me to the top, I don't need an invitation. Knock, knock. I'm about to start a celebration. Let me in Brought a good time for some friends. Turn it up loud past ten.