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3 Cocktails In
Addicting conversations between friends who have been there, done that and still want more.
We are 3 friends who got this crazy idea to start a podcast based on our friendships, family lives, professional lives and experiences! This idea kept coming up in our conversations, especially after a cocktail or two or maybe three, and we finally decided to ACT on it!
We don't claim to be experts on too many things, but friendship? Well, we've got that down. We're making our way through major life changes, searching for work that excites us, busting myths associated with 'old' people, and keeping a sense of humor about it all.
Self employed, boss - CHECK
Mom, wife, single - CHECK
Rural, suburban, urban life - CHECK
Vodka, gin, wine - CHECK
Make sure to subscribe to our channel ~ FOMO is real and it sucks.
Amy, Kitty & Stacey
P.S. Isn't our intro music great?! Yah, we think so too. Thank you, Ivy States for "I Got That Wow".
3 Cocktails In
Hinge Success: Malory's Romantic Adventure
Ever wondered how a dating app could be the bridge to finding true love? This episode will answer that question as we chat with Stacey's daughter Malory, an English teacher at Iowa Western Community College, who shares her touching story of meeting her husband on Hinge. Malory's tale isn't just about romance; it's a beautiful blend of family similarities and the joys of finding a match that truly feels like home. Plus, we kick things off with some cheerful updates—Kitty's exciting trip to Las Vegas for her jewelry business venture and some insights from Amy into the booming housing market from the Parade of Homes in Minneapolis.
Transitioning from dating app matches to friendships can be tricky, and we have some hilarious and awkward stories to prove it! From receiving fake butterflies and glitter to a dead plant on a first date, our chat is filled with laughter and lessons learned. We also dive into the unique marketing strategies of apps like Hinge, designed to be deleted once you find "the one," and discuss how various apps cater to different demographics. This segment promises both humor and thought-provoking insights into the world of modern dating.
But that's not all; we explore the rich tapestry of cultural dynamics, especially as they relate to wedding planning and family interaction. Integrating Indian traditions into American life can be both challenging and rewarding, as we share personal experiences of accommodating extended family visits, culinary adventures, and the humorous yet touching moments of learning a new language. Malory also opens up about her personal growth journey following significant life changes, emphasizing the importance of family support and the joy of meaningful connections. Join us for an episode filled with heartwarming stories, laughter, and cultural reflections that celebrate love and family.
Make sure to subscribe to our channel, comment, like, and share!
Amy, Kitty & Stacey
P.S. Isn't our intro music great?! Yah, we think so too. Thank you, Ivy States for "I Got That Wow".
Hello.
Speaker 2:Hello Good evening everyone.
Speaker 3:Hello, cheers ladies, hello good evening everyone.
Speaker 4:Hello, hello. Cheers ladies happy.
Speaker 3:We'll say happy thursday, even though it's not a thursday happy vikings win day yeah vikings had a good game, I know, and Bill went Look at me with all my Actually, I had my jersey on up until about five minutes ago. I'm like I'm going to at least take my jersey off.
Speaker 2:I would have left it on. Yeah, I was wondering if you were going to wear it too.
Speaker 4:Yeah, why didn't you just leave it on?
Speaker 2:I'm surprised you still had one. You've been so in love with the Chiefs for the last few years.
Speaker 3:I know I pulled out, so I have a vintage jersey.
Speaker 2:I have a Chris Carter jersey?
Speaker 3:Yeah, and doesn't that hold special meaning. So I wore that today.
Speaker 4:Yes, very nice, cool, cool. What else has been?
Speaker 3:going on. It was so fun, so fun. The three of us have not talked. I had a glorious week last week in Las Vegas with my jewelry business. You guys, it was a well. It wasn't a full week, but it was Pamper City and as much as I wanted to come back and see Bill and Bo, I did not want to leave.
Speaker 2:That is consistent for you on most vacations.
Speaker 3:however, I would like to point that out I know, oh my gosh, we had so much fun.
Speaker 4:Well, whoever wants to come home for vacation, I'd say no one I know.
Speaker 3:Yeah, that's true, yeah, so yeah, I'm still in recovery mode. That's what's up with me. What about?
Speaker 2:you guys, it's been Parade of Homes, so I have had a number of looky-loos every day coming in that don't want to buy a house but want to see how things are decorated, oh, okay. Or they want to come in and they're thinking about it. You know, from like a year from now, I'm like great this neighborhood will be sold out.
Speaker 3:But you know, come on in, let's talk, yeah Well, okay. So is the market favorable right now? What's going?
Speaker 2:on. People are getting super excited, super excited. It's not been really too much different for us because we have great interest rates all the time, but the Fed dropped their marker half point and people were anticipating that coming. So we're thinking interest rates are gonna start to start to trickle down and everybody that's been waiting the last year now kind of took a big sigh of relief and are. We're seeing a lot more homes coming on the market now, even in the last week, which brings buyers out, as I talked about a long time ago. That's great. But more buyers in the last week, which brings buyers out, um, as I talked about a long time ago, that's great. But more buyers in the market means house prices go up. So you, to put to talk football terminology, you're not getting ahead, you're just moving the chain. So but yeah, people are excited.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Good.
Speaker 4:Yeah, so Awesome. Well, like usual, this is three cocktails in. There's actually three of us on tonight and guess what? We're going to have a guest. We're going to have a fourth person on the seat, excellent, yes, so I will bring her in. Here is my daughter, mallory Sahoo Sahoo.
Speaker 5:Sahoo, who did I see? You saw who Love it.
Speaker 2:Well, I am super excited to see you again, mallory. I was. I've known you your entire whole life, since you were itty bitty baby, but really selfishly. I can't wait to hear and I hope you're going to share a successful online dating story for me, because mine has not been very successful, so I'm thrilled to be able to hear how you ended up hitched to the love of your life, not so very long ago.
Speaker 5:I know, I know it took me years, but I finally found him.
Speaker 2:I'm going to ignore the years part. I don't have that many years left. Yes, you do.
Speaker 5:Okay, I do.
Speaker 2:Yes, you do.
Speaker 4:Okay, I do. So. You know we didn't plan a whole lot of what we were going to ask you. You know we're just going to let you start and maybe tell about yourself what you do, how you got to be here. Whatever, you want to talk about.
Speaker 5:Yeah Well, so my name's Mallory. I teach in the English department for Iowa Western Community College, but I teach a. It's a whole long list of classes and it changes every semester, but the main ones I teach are usually related to communication, so writing or literature, public speaking, that kind of thing. I am 38, I think, and just got married. It's now almost been a year it was last November and I had not been married or engaged before that. I definitely waited quite a while to do so because I wanted to find the right person and I didn't give up, and I'm glad I didn't give up.
Speaker 3:Good for you, and he is delightful.
Speaker 5:Yes, I, yeah, I, I definitely think. So I might be a little little biased, but he's kind of the best person ever so so we'll go back to the dating thing.
Speaker 2:But what does he think about this hyper competitive, crazy family he's married into?
Speaker 5:okay. So what's funny is we will talk constantly about how we have the same family members as each other. Oh, that's funny. So I don't know how specific to get. But so my mom's brother Wade, right, Funny, loose kind of comedian guy. He has his own Uncle Wade in his family. So like it's just, it's funny Cause we'll compare and he'll be like, oh well, you think that's funny? Listen to what my uncle Wade did. Yeah, it's always funny.
Speaker 3:Yeah, okay. So how did you guys, how did you two meet?
Speaker 5:So we met on the dating app hinge, which I had not heard of. One of my coworkers actually recommended it. So I thought, well, I'll give it a try. And I had used. Well, shoot, I mean, I've tried dating apps forever. So I tried old things like Plenty of Fish, cupid I can't even think of the name of the one E-Harmony and Match. I tried a bunch of different ones and met some good people but hadn't found the right thing and I guess I hadn't even said my husband's name is Vikas, but we call him Vik.
Speaker 5:I met him. He was the first person I went on a date with through Hinge Interesting Yep. And I wasn't expecting much. Like he didn't have a whole lot of information on his profile. The stupid thing is that he had this picture of himself eating a spoon of ice cream and he was smiling and it was like the cutest picture that I'd seen. So I'm like, ok, I'll go on one date with him, like I'll talk to him. And so when we had our first date, I wasn't expecting it to necessarily last all too long. Like I was thinking well, have dinner, get a drink, I'll be home by nine and go to bed, kind of thing. Uh, we ended up staying out just sitting and talking until like one or 2 AM.
Speaker 2:Wow.
Speaker 5:Which neither one of us had expected.
Speaker 3:You just clicked, we did, we did.
Speaker 2:So again I'm going to ask all the technical questions here. How is Hinge different than the other ones you mentioned? You know they each kind of have their own little thing.
Speaker 5:Yep. So one thing I've noticed with Hinge is that they market themselves pretty well, I think, because in the commercials I've seen they talk about how they're the app created to be deleted or removed. Like they don't want you or expect you to keep their app. They're like download us, find your person, get rid of us. And interesting which there are other uses of hinge. There are people who don't use it for that reason as well. But I think when I saw that I thought, okay, like that sounds more like what I'm looking for, so I thought I'd try it, but I honestly don't remember many other details about, like, how the app is different.
Speaker 2:That's kind of what I was asking the marketing. You know what is their kind of plug?
Speaker 3:Okay, so do some of the dating apps cater to specific age groups more than others.
Speaker 2:Yeah, farmerscom, farmersonlycom, I. I haven't heard that. That commercial in ages. Maybe it went belly up, I don't know yeah oh yeah, there are a lot like that.
Speaker 5:There are some that do it based on age, some that do it based on religion, um, some that do it based on, like, specific body types and things that you're looking for. Some do it based on income. You have to make a certain amount of income before you can even get the app. There are lots of different ones.
Speaker 3:I'm curious. So question for both Mallory and Amy are there people who you've you've talked to and then maybe gone on a date that you've decided, okay, this isn't going to be a match, but I kind of like this person. I think we could be friends. Are there people that you've made friendships with that weren't romantic relationships?
Speaker 5:For me no.
Speaker 4:No, I was going to say, is it because that's the point of why you're there? Is to find you know your next, you know your romance. That's what you're looking for right?
Speaker 5:Yes, and I would say, if anything, Vic would be my closest to being able to answer yes to that question Because from when we first started talking and going out, one of the things I know he was the first one to say it was that if for some reason this doesn't work out, he wants to stay friends, Like we at least should stay friends. And I was like I'll warn you, I've never done that before, so I don't know, but I thought, yeah, like he would.
Speaker 5:He would be such a great friend, Like I don't want to lose him in any regard. Like I settle for just friends. If that's the best we can, we can do.
Speaker 2:It has been proposed to me. It was proposed to me after seeing somebody quite a bit um, because we had again don't know why that one didn't work out because we clicked on all cylinders um, but I said I can't, I, I don't, I can't be friends with him, knowing that he didn't want to see me, and then to know that he's still looking for somebody else. I'm like no, that he didn't want to see me. And then to know that he's still looking for somebody else, I'm like no, that that didn't. That doesn't sit right with me yeah so just curious yeah, how
Speaker 4:about any funny things that happened along your journey things that happened along your journey.
Speaker 5:I could write a whole novel about so many weird things that have happened. I don't even know. I had a box sent to my house one time before a first date. This was during COVID, so we were just going to meet via Zoom for a Zoom date and he had wanted my address first. And I'm like I don't know about this. I don't know about this, but we had worked through a dating company I don't know that I've ever mentioned that to anybody before Yep. I paid for like a in Omaha dating company, and so they he sent them the gift, then they sent it to me so that he didn't actually ever get my address.
Speaker 5:Oh, that's good, uh. So I had no idea what it was and I was supposed to wait and open it when we started our zoom date and it was this box that it was actually. It was really nice. But when you opened it it was all of these fake butterflies flew out. So there was now butterflies and glitter all over my house had flown out of this box, and then there was this chocolate heart in the middle and so it seemed like it was supposed to be very nice, but I also don't like chocolate and didn't like that. I had to clean up all of the butterflies and glitter. Um, and yeah, we didn't. That seems like a lot, for it was a lot for a first date. Oh, I just have another one. I also had someone I went on a first date with who showed up with a gift. That's not like an every date thing, but this person showed up with a gift and it was a dead plant.
Speaker 2:What was the rationale behind that?
Speaker 5:Well, he didn't realize it was dead. He thought that was how it was supposed to look like, what the plant was, and the funniest part of this is that that was Vic. That was our first date he showed up.
Speaker 4:Did he think it was an air plant Like you, just water it. And then it's just Because he I don't remember where he said he think it was an air plant like you, just water it, and then it's just yep, because he I don't remember where he said he bought it.
Speaker 5:So he just assumed that that's yeah, that's what the plant is. It's supposed to look like that, and so let him buy it. Oh, he just went and bought it himself, yeah, although, yeah, why at the store did they let him sell it. That's what I'm saying yeah, yeah, but I thought it was a self serve purchase. I kept it for a while because I'm like I got. I got to keep this to show people.
Speaker 2:I thought it was going to be some sort of uh you know metaphor for, you know, can we keep the plant alive, that whole? You know? What is it? How to lose a guy in 10 days.
Speaker 3:A love fern.
Speaker 2:You know where she buys the plant, their love fern, yeah, something about if we start with the dead one, maybe we can bring it back, I don't know, wow, yeah, oh goodness, I had the thought again today and I'm sure, mallory, that you have Well, I hope you have, I hope I'm not the only one this whole idea of like no wonder these guys are single and on these apps they're, so you know whatever. And then I thought to myself yeah well, I'm single and on the apps too, so pretty good chance people are thinking about those things, about me as well.
Speaker 5:But oh yeah, I mean I yeah. So I was 36 when Vic and I met, and he's from India, he's from a very different, pretty different culture, and I was worried that one of his first questions was going to be you're 36 and you've never been married, you don't have any kids, like what's wrong with you, kind of a thing, sure. So I was always a little worried about that. That that's what people would kind of wonder. And then I've had brain surgery. So I'm like, well, there's that to add to it. But he was awesome at kind of wonder. And then I've had brain surgery. So I'm like, well, there's that to add to it. But yeah, it was, he was awesome at kind of understanding everything.
Speaker 3:Is he the same age?
Speaker 5:No, he's not Okay. I I've always liked guys who are older than me. He is a year younger, that's the same age.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that's the same age.
Speaker 5:Yeah, he likes to call me old, though he doesn't. That was a joke. Yeah.
Speaker 2:So you've mentioned that his family's from India.
Speaker 5:Yeah, so you've mentioned that he's his family's from India, mm.
Speaker 2:hmm, talk to us about the melding of the families, the getting to know his family, the. How much does culture play in that Again?
Speaker 5:I could make a whole book. So he and his family talk every day. They talk every day. He's the oldest son and then he has a brother who's 10 years younger than him, which was another one of the things he and I connected on and talked about a lot on that first date, even since I have a sister who's 13, 14, 13 years younger than me that we both had that kind of practice taking care of kids and stuff when we were growing up and um. But he and his family are very close so they will talk constantly. His brother lives in canada, his parents still live in india and they don't get to see each other all that frequently, so they'll do video calls a lot.
Speaker 5:And for the first I don't know, while that we were dating he didn't, he didn't mention me.
Speaker 5:He kind of kept me a secret because he knew that as soon as he mentioned to his parents that he was seeing someone, that they would immediately go to you get married now, like immediate marriage, and so he's like we're gonna skip that for a while. So another fun fact Vic this house that I'm in, that we live in, vic bought this while we were dating and his parents did not know about me yet, and the day that he closed on the house, he brought me here to see it and to kind of celebrate a bit. So he was walking around the house showing it off to his family on video and I was walking around the exact opposite part of the house to try to stay out of the video and not be heard the whole time he's talking to them. I suddenly got very sick and ended up passing out and puking on the floor of the kitchen. Oh, of the first house he's ever purchased. On the day he closed it I passed out and puked in the kitchen.
Speaker 2:You christened it a little bit different type of party that one might have to celebrate a housewarming.
Speaker 5:Yes, and so he had to like hang up the call with his parents and take me to the hospital. So when we actually first met, it was on a video call. So by that time they kind of knew about me. He told them some you know details and we would talk on like a WhatsApp video call. The first time I actually met them in person was for my birthday two years ago.
Speaker 5:Originally, we were hoping that Vic was going to come with me to Canada and we were going to see his brother and his parents and his uncle. That were all there. Vic's Canadian visa did not get approved in time, so Vic flew with me to Chicago and then stayed in Chicago for a few days while I went alone to Canada oh my God and got picked up at the airport by his mom, his dad, his uncle and his brother, and we all rode in the car back to his brother's apartment where we all stayed for the weekend, including my birthday. Well, my birthday is July 3rd, so it was my birthday and they did fireworks that weekend even in Canada, and it was just, it was crazy. I think he had warned them like she will want to be alone, Let her be alone, let her hide in a room, don't try to talk to her, like I think he tried to scare them of what to expect from me.
Speaker 5:So when I actually showed up and was like, can I help make dinner? Like what can I do? And I stayed out there to talk to them, they were like what? And they're like do you know my name? And I'm like, yeah, I'm like Kamini and Vimal Sahu and they're like, and they lost it. But then by the time I got home I had been so nervous to go by myself that I started like breaking out in hives, um, that weekend. So they had offered me like cream to use to try to take care of my neck and stuff, and um, but that was the first time we met. I met all four of his family members without him there, and so did they tell stories on him. No, no, I wish, I know, I wish that they had, but they don't speak a lot of English. They they actually speak more than they'll tell you. Like they'll tell you, I don't speak English, but they do. It's not that bad at all, but I didn't have they understand.
Speaker 4:they understand a lot, yes.
Speaker 5:Yes, it's more the figuring out how to translate to English how they want to respond to stuff sometimes. But I didn't have Vic there to translate. I had his brother who was a great help. But that was a very interesting weekend and first way to I'm sure how brave. Yeah, that's what vick said. I'm like, or crazy it's I.
Speaker 3:I was one of the two one or the other yeah yep, so how often will you get to see them?
Speaker 5:That's another good question. So they actually came. So they had stayed with his brother in Canada for about six months and then they came and lived with us in the house for three or four months, which is not something I'm used to, you know, to have other people live with me for that long or visit me for that long, but so they were here for like three to four months. They left in December. We're hoping to find a time that we can go visit them in India next. So I don't know when they'll be able to come back, but hopefully, hopefully, sometime. But yeah, we're not going to be able to see them as frequently.
Speaker 2:You know I should share. Maybe I shouldn't share this story, but we have a lot of Indian buyers in the homes, the new homes that we sell. They like to buy new homes and they always ask for a bedroom and at least a three-quarter bath on the main floor, because they do have family that will come and stay for months at a time. So, like we think, a long vacation, stacey, you and I thought our trip to France for 10 days was so long, oh no they'll come for two, three months.
Speaker 5:Oh yeah, I think usually if you try to get a travel visa, you can be like I know you could stay in Canada for about six months. You could stay in the US for about six months on a travel visa. So I think their plan had originally been that they'd be out of India for a year and spend six months with Vic's brother and then spend six months here with Vic, and then I think when they found out about me, they got scared enough that they cut it back to just three months. Interesting, yeah, three, four months, something like that.
Speaker 4:Which is interesting. You know to come and stay, you know because you and Vic were just newly engaged. You know to come and stay, you know because you and Vic were just newly engaged, you know.
Speaker 5:Well, no, so we weren't engaged. We had been dating for like a year a year-ish when they got here. We got engaged while they were here and married while they were here. Yeah, when they came, it was just that we were in a relationship at that point.
Speaker 4:But I'm just saying it's very new, and then to have his parents there on top of it, yes.
Speaker 5:Yeah, which I think we were all a little nervous about, but it was fantastic because his mom cooked us food a lot and I can't even think of one thing that she cooked that I didn't just love, or at least like, and so I was like, yes, they should come back and stay with us anytime, and it was good.
Speaker 2:Oh, that's great, that's great. So are you picking up on any Indian Like?
Speaker 5:on Language. Are you learning to speak?
Speaker 2:No, not really.
Speaker 5:Yeah, I know, like I know some words, but I don't feel like I could make a sentence at all. But so there's, like I've learned. Um, nanaji and naniji are like grandpa and grandma, mamaji and papaji I hope I said that. One right are mom and dad. Um, there's, so I'm kind of learning those. I did know the words for like brother and sister, and now I forgot what those are and namaste. Yeah, that's, that's about all I have for. Yeah, I keep saying that I need to learn it, like I need to. I even downloaded an app and I just haven't used it yet. But Vic, uh, does not encourage me to learn it faster, because I think he likes being able to control the translation.
Speaker 2:See, that's what I was getting at.
Speaker 5:Mm-hmm.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I think that he likes to be able to control it so that if there's something that he can filter yeah, yes, um, I, I sell to a lot of different cultures that come in and oftentimes they're having a whole conversation and I'm wondering they could really hate me, they could hate the house. They, I have no idea and it's you know. I can only imagine having you know. You want people to like you. You love their son. You want them to love you, to not be able to know what they're saying and then have him as a stinker trying to control the conversation.
Speaker 5:Oh, yeah, he joked about how there were multiple times when we'd all be sitting at the dining table eating dinner and they'd be talking about how he's going to propose, or how he went to give the ring, or all this stuff, and I no clue huh. No, no idea, no idea.
Speaker 4:I'm sitting there smiling.
Speaker 5:Yeah, I'm to the point where, like, if I hear Mal, I'll know.
Speaker 2:Ok, they said something about me, but yeah, otherwise, so can you just put your phone out with Google Translate right there, so say okay, let's go.
Speaker 5:I should do that. I should start sneaking that in Like, oh yeah.
Speaker 3:Oh, that's funny. Very funny, did you. So what was your wedding like? Did you incorporate any Indian customs traditions into your wedding? A little minimal.
Speaker 5:So we're thinking that hopefully when we go to India, hopefully his brother will be getting married. We will see if that happens when that happens, but that maybe Vic and I will do a little something in India when we're there. But we're not doing the big traditional, like Indian. Traditional Indian weddings are massive and multiple days, like they're not a one day event like we do here. They're huge, and I'm like no, that's too big, like so we had originally thought we'll do more of a standard American wedding here, and then I got to where, nope, even that's, I don't want that, even that's too big.
Speaker 5:So we got to where we had what like 25 people. We just went to a lake here in Omaha. Um, the only part of the yeah of that day that I guess relates is that I incorporated some red in, so I had red on my veil, red on my bouquet, red on my waist, because traditional or at least with Vic's culture or in his area, they wear red as a wedding color, like the bride, more so, wears red, and so I'm like well, I don't want to wear all red. So I tried to mix the two of it, but then we also it was the next day went to there's a really awesome Indian temple in Omaha.
Speaker 5:So we went there with his parents and did a little thing there, and I wore a red dress to that one, but so we just kind of did a little couple little things nice there was something I see and I wish I knew more or could explain it a bit better, but I know when we got home from the temple we did some stuff by the front door, like we had to throw rice across the door frame, like to walk into our house, newly married, and his mom and dad said a couple prayers or blessings and we had to, like walk in. I don't remember now which foot it was, but we had to put like one foot before the other one, like. So there were little things that we did, and I'm, of course, more just like okay, like sure, I need to do that, okay, yeah.
Speaker 2:Did it matter? Did, and I'm not excuse me. I don't know if this is Indian culture, but does it matter which way the front door faces? When Vic was looking for a house, did he specifically look for one that had certain direction?
Speaker 5:So it depends on how religious or how traditional you are. There are recommendations of if you're-.
Speaker 4:Not.
Speaker 5:South. Yeah, if your, I know a certain way not sour windows, like if your bedroom and your bed face a certain direction, um, that they can kind of bring more positive results. Um, but I don't know, I guess we didn't really talk about it. He was buying the house, so I and I wasn't buying it. So I'd go with him to look at places and I'd be like, oh sure, this looks nice, okay.
Speaker 2:I would just be curious to know if that was something that he was actually thinking about as he was picking out homes.
Speaker 4:Yeah, to your front door, doesn't it face east?
Speaker 5:The front door faces east. Yes, Yep.
Speaker 2:That, I think, is good. They like the front door facing east. They, I say they. You know I've had enough buyers come in that I'm like but this house checks every box and they're like nope, it's facing the wrong. And I've had realtors call and say which direction does the home face? Yeah, before they'll even come out, the buyers, before the buyers will even come out.
Speaker 5:Yeah, I know that's definitely a thing that some people want to choose or decide based on Vic. I don't know if he.
Speaker 5:if he did, it wasn't something we really talked about, I guess Very cool I think when we were trying to decide where to put our bed in our bedroom, I think we had debated about that a little bit because there was one clear like to me. I'm like it obviously goes right there. Like there you can't put the bed anywhere else. Like it has to go right there because there's a window on that wall, there's the door to the bathroom on that wall, there's the door out of the bedroom on. I'm like the only place to put the bed is that one wall right there, where there's nothing else. It's where the bed goes um. And so I think we had debated for a while about whether that was the right place to put the bed. And it is. That's where we put it.
Speaker 2:Oh good, yeah, I don't usually get drawn into those conversations, but I do know the front door. Oftentimes it matters which way the home opens up. Yeah.
Speaker 4:Things I remember yeah, go ahead. Yeah, yeah, things I remember, yeah, things I remember, go ahead. Things I remember early were vick was so nervous to meet us and just kept. You know, is this you know saying things like you know? Are you sure it's okay? You know, is it okay that you know I'm dating mallory? Is it you know so much worry about what we thought? You know everything, everything oh yeah, that's still.
Speaker 5:that's still how he is, um, and I don't know if it's just because his culture puts a bit more emphasis on what the elders think and choose, and it's where you have to follow that, whether you or you should follow that, whether you necessarily agree with it or not, whereas, as my mom knows, I'm more like, oh, they say I have to do that. Well, guess what? I'm doing the opposite opposite, like I'm not doing that. Then, um, and so like, when I invited him because the first time I had him meet the family was for Thanksgiving that year that we had met, and he was, oh my gosh, he was so nervous.
Speaker 5:He was so nervous about, you know well, what kind of food do they have, even? And like, am I like? Can I eat this? Like we need to bring them gifts, like we have to give everybody a gift to meet them, and what to say and what not to say. And now that I think about it, I probably did the same kind of thing that he did when he warned his family about me. I probably told him like, oh well, listen, this is how my mom's going to act, this is how my uncle's going to act. I probably tried to scare him about them so that when he met them they'd be like oh no, your family's awesome.
Speaker 4:Yeah.
Speaker 5:Yeah, he still is like that, though, because even now. So I asked my mom if I could get tickets to an Iowa State football game. And he's like, don't ask your mom for tickets, Don't ask your mom about tickets. How dare I ask my mom for tickets to a football game? That's not very nice. And I'm like, oh, I'm going to ask her, she's not going to care. I'm like, if she doesn't want to give me the tickets, she'll just say no, it doesn't matter. And he's like, oh, there are differences in that for sure.
Speaker 4:I thought earlier, when you were talking about him talking to his parents every day, you were gonna say how you chuckled at that really early, because he asked you well, why don't you talk to your parents every day?
Speaker 5:oh yeah, oh yeah. Well, and he'll be like did you, you talk to your mom today? I'll be like no, like well, is she okay? I'm like, I think so like, why did you talk? To her. He'll be like well, no, I'm like, then I think she's okay.
Speaker 2:Like, if my sister calls, then she's not, maybe okay then if she's not okay, somebody will call and let me know someone will let me know.
Speaker 5:yeah, I'm like no, he's like well, I mean, it's been like a couple days, you haven't talked to her yet. And I'm like no, no, he'll be. Like, well, what about your dad? Did you talk to your dad? Like no, like, I mean, I got a snap picture, maybe. But yeah, okay, you want to call him At some point? I will. Yeah, just very different.
Speaker 2:Yes, yeah, I wonder if that's a guy thing.
Speaker 4:Stacey, does Trenton call you? Yes, he will call, but it's certainly not very often. I mean, I would say oh, you know well you guys also have a group group chat, right? Yeah, so there's always something going on in there. But he will occasionally call me. I would say it's not once, a week, less than that. But he'll make the, you know he'll make the call.
Speaker 2:Kevin talked to his mom every single day. Oh my gosh. Some of these men that I have, some of these men, my horde of men that I have dated, um, they ask all the time well, did you talk to your daughters today? I'm like like no same thing. Like you was I supposed to, you know I'm like oh, I sent them something on instagram.
Speaker 2:Does that count? Yeah, that's well, are you gonna call them or are you gonna go? When are you gonna go see them to houston? Yeah, yeah, no, they're like well, there's an airplane. I'm like I'm, I'm well aware I am coming to your neck of the woods on tuesday. I am driving down to to omaha on tuesday and seeing over wait, is ava.
Speaker 5:She's in omaha.
Speaker 2:She's in omaha, lives over in the exarbon area and she volunteers at the cat cafe. If you ever want to go see her on a weekend, okay I need to.
Speaker 5:I need to befriend ava on, yeah, facebook or instagram or whatever, because my favorite restaurant in omaha is in ex-arbon um, so we are there every sunday.
Speaker 2:Yes, yes it's so funny you probably have been there at the same time, because she does live right over in that area.
Speaker 5:I love Exarvon. It's such a good area yeah.
Speaker 2:What is the Cat Cafe, so it is. I think it's a coffee. Have you been there?
Speaker 5:No, it's on my list.
Speaker 2:Well, I think they just moved because with the flooding, was it flood or was it hurricane? But was it rain. What was the storm damage?
Speaker 5:We had a lot of rain and we had a lot of wind, and so there was a lot of places that got flooded and there were a lot that lost. Trees, like whole trees, went down. Yeah, a whole bunch of stuff went down.
Speaker 2:So the former location got flooded so they just I think they're just opening up the new place. Well, anyway, it's right next to it. I think it's two parts is like animal rescue, and so part of the cat cafe is this pen, I think, or area of little kittens that you can play with and hope that you can play with them and adopt them there. And as a volunteer she goes in and sometimes she just sits and plays with cats for a while and is kind of the one that, as people want to play with the cats you know, talks to them or talks to the people about the kittens.
Speaker 2:She said that last week she went and there was a whole new litter of kittens and she said she was a human jungle gym. They were chewing on the strings of her hoodie, on her tennis shoes, playing with her hair, I mean. She literally said I had them all over me, mom, and she's got two cats and a roommate has a cat. So I'm like, well, I'm glad you can get your fill without bringing another one home. She goes oh, I am tempted but I will not Two is fine, for now.
Speaker 5:she says See, I keep wanting to go there and I keep mentioning it, and then I keep forgetting about it, and I think Vic does not try to remind me because I think he knows that I'll end up bringing a cat home. Yeah, yeah and yeah. It does look like a fun place, though.
Speaker 2:Well, we need to talk after this about if okay, yeah, yep, we'll get her, we'll get her hooked up, we'll get you too okay, yeah, so what else?
Speaker 4:now. Do you have any other exciting things you want to talk to you? Talk about your life I did okay.
Speaker 5:So I did prepare one thing before coming on. I had no idea what you guys were going to ask and stuff, but I found a quote. Uh, I actually saw it this morning and I saved it immediately because I'm like this is I think this is a quote I'm going to use for my life now, um, and I'll tell you who said it as well. So it's Yonla Van Zandt.
Speaker 2:Ah yep.
Speaker 5:So the quote is when the time comes for you to make a change or to grow, the universe will make you so uncomfortable you'll eventually have no choice, and I loved it. I'm like because and I talked to some of my coworker friends about this all the time like who I was three years ago versus who I am now. Just so much stuff has changed rather quickly over the last three years, and I was in a bad spot before, was not happy with multiple different aspects of my life, but I also wasn't putting in enough effort to change anything, and so then it was like, okay, well, if you're not going to do it, here you go, mallory, so let's have brain surgeries and let's, you know, do this stuff that you can't say no to. And then I don't think I've ever been this happy in my life.
Speaker 5:So it's like if I I tell Vic this too, too much too. But if I had to go through the exact same stuff that I've been through in order to get where I am now and feel just this happy, I'd do it again. I, I wouldn't change a thing, I'd stick with it all, just to get back here, yeah that's great.
Speaker 3:That's so great.
Speaker 2:Yeah, Well, you look great, you sound great. It's always fun, you know, sharing comments and stories and stuff with you. Yeah, it's just, it is such a joy and I think we all talked about it to have a relationship with our kids as adults. You know, yes, there's still the mom, the mom-daughter thing, that kind of dynamic, but there's also a new level where the playing field has leveled a little bit. We're coming to you guys for advice. You're now listening to the advice we give and not like just, you know, immediately turning the opposite direction, even though you joke about it. You know, um, it's just such a joy to be able to have good, good relationships as we, as we both get older.
Speaker 5:Oh, for sure, For sure. I mean I um, I don't know the relationship or the way that I see my relationships. I'm so thankful to have the family members that I have. Now. I remember, and I'm so sorry, mom. I remember times of being just so mad about stuff and and now it's like I don't know you. I think as you get older, you just start to see things differently and start to appreciate like, oh, that's okay, that's where that came from and that makes perfect sense. Now, uh, because I do the same thing, like, yeah, stuff where, when it happens, at the time you're like what the heck? This is dumb and yeah, so, yeah, yes, I love you mom, thank you, thank you, I'm sorry yes, right, that's, that's the piece of it.
Speaker 4:You know, your siblings need to apologize also, because it's not always, it's not always perfect, but we expect that. I mean, don't we as parents? We expect it to be, just, at times, really hard, really difficult really, you know well in the fields.
Speaker 2:There was a quote I and I'm I'm just going to paraphrase it, but, um, somebody that I was following was talking to the children and they said, hey, cut your parents some slack. They've never done this before either. You know, and especially as the oldest you're the oldest, stacy, and I are the oldest Our parents didn't know what the hell they were doing. Love you, mary. Maybe you did, linda, you obviously did, you know sort of thing, but I didn't know what I was doing with Madeline. She's the pancake, that's what that's. Our joke is, you know, the test pancake where you're all trying to figure it out together. So, yeah, to get to this age now where you can, you can accept, um, you know us as we are, yeah, helps, that's right yeah, that's right.
Speaker 3:Oh, yeah, well, and we appreciate you sharing your, your dating journey and these things because, again, one of the reasons that we wanted to do this is that, you know, we we all go through different stages in our lives and have different experiences, and a lot of times there are just questions that people have or situations that they find themselves in that they maybe didn't expect, and we want to be able to talk about those things here. And, you know, amy graciously shares her experiences with us, and so it's really wonderful to hear yours, mallory, and we're so happy that you're so happy. It's. You know, I've I've known you not as long as Amy and, of course, stacey, but it's wonderful to see you so happy and thriving. So it's everyone should know that there is someone in the world for everyone, and sometimes it just takes a little bit longer to find them.
Speaker 5:Yeah, yeah, I'm well. I'm glad I didn't give up because I was worried for a while there. But okay, you know, went through some health stuff and I'm like I'm how do I ever explain this on a dating site Like, oh, you want to go on a date with me? Let me tell you about the surgeries that I've recently had and why I don't have hair in certain places, and you know, and I'm like who's going to want to, you know, say, yeah, I'll date that chick. And I'm so glad that I didn't give up and that I just tried, um and just went for it, because otherwise, oh yeah, things wouldn't be the same.
Speaker 4:Yeah, right yeah, and I'm sure vic will watch this. I'm sure he will because I know he watches about every episode. But anyway, yeah, you know and we were happy yeah, hi vic we were happy to have him as an addition. It's definitely been um good for our family, for sure you know, to have him as an addition. So and certainly as we see how good he is for you know, to you and for you yeah, yeah, he's, he's the Like I don't know just every day.
Speaker 5:It's like I start to appreciate other things in my life better and I think he just helps that Like. He just like, if I get upset about something from work or from family or whatever the issue is and I talked to him about it, he's like, well, yeah, but it's not this or like you know, or it could have been that other thing, and he just always makes me feel better about stuff and kind of pushes me forward to be better and do more things. And yeah, it's worth the wait to find your person. They'll be there, all right.
Speaker 4:There, you go On that note. I think we'll end this session yes, wonderful, thank you so much, thank you.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yep, all right, all right time, ladies cheers, cheers.
Speaker 3:Have a good week, everybody, yep bye-bye, bye all right, bye-bye, bye, I go coming.
Speaker 1:I can't ever stop. I'm a tour de force running. Get me to the top. I don't need an invitation. I'm about to start a celebration. Let me in Brought a good time for some friends. Turn it up loud past 10. Turning up the crowd when I hit them with the power.
