3 Cocktails In

Would You Attend a Job Interview With Your Adult Child? 20% of Parents Do......

Amy, Kitty & Stacey Season 1 Episode 45

Ready to kickstart your week with high energy and intriguing insights? Join us as we wrap up the weekend reflecting on Midwest weather, poolside fun, and unforgettable Las Vegas trips. We'll also share our excitement and plans for our podcast's upcoming one-year anniversary, including a potential 'corporate' retreat. Get ready for an episode packed with joy, memories, and plenty of laughter to set a spirited tone for the week ahead.

Have you ever wondered why some young adults bring their parents to job interviews? Discover the surprising statistic that one in five parents attend job interviews with their children aged 18 to 27, and learn what this trend reveals about today's job market. We discuss the unrealistic expectations of recent graduates, the vital role of college placement departments, and the indispensable value of non-parental mentors. Let's explore how upbringing and privilege shape job readiness and the pressures young adults face as they enter the workforce.

We'll also dive deep into the dynamics of parental involvement in career development, drawing insights from our Gary V's popular YouTube channel. We emphasize the importance of fostering independence in young adults while sharing personal stories about the pitfalls of helicopter parenting. From financial independence to developing grit, we cover it all. As we wrap up, we invite you to share your thoughts and experiences, eager to hear your diverse perspectives on these crucial topics. Tune in for a thought-provoking and motivational episode!

Make sure to subscribe to our channel, comment, like, and share!

Amy, Kitty & Stacey

P.S. Isn't our intro music great?! Yah, we think so too. Thank you, Ivy States for "I Got That Wow".

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Speaker 1:

All right, I got that. Who wants some heads up right now? We got that. Turn it up loud. I know you're wondering how.

Speaker 2:

I got that. Wow, here I go. Here I go, coming. I can't ever stop. I'm a tour de force running. Give me to the top, I don't need an invitation. Hello, hello.

Speaker 3:

How is everyone?

Speaker 5:

Doing good Wrapping up the weekend.

Speaker 4:

Yes, wrapping up the weekend ready for our first day of work tomorrow. I'm feeling to Thursday night. Yeah, while you're full in it, Yep.

Speaker 5:

Just totally, totally, totally soaking up these days. It is glorious in the Midwest right now. I was just going to say Minnesota, but I'm guessing it is for you too, Stacey. Yes, it is. This is the time of year that we wait for yeah, nice weather, sunny, yeah, very nice, weird in between, which is so wonderful.

Speaker 3:

So I think I I told you guys at one point I'd only I I have a pool, an outdoor pool at my, at my Um, and I only used it twice this summer, which is wrong, sad and wrong. So last Tuesday and Wednesday I made it out to the pool, both days just for like an hour hour and a half. I, you know my day's off. I wanted to take a little time and there were only six people at the pool each day and, uh, you know, it was that perfect kind of 75 and the water is a little heated. I mean it's still cold when you get in, but it's not like shivery cold and it felt so good.

Speaker 3:

Nice. Yeah, it was nice. I intend to do the same thing this Tuesday and Wednesday.

Speaker 4:

Yeah, it was nice. I intend to do the same thing this Tuesday and Wednesday.

Speaker 3:

Yes, I spent last week in Vegas, when it was 105. Oh, I miss our 105 Vegas trips.

Speaker 4:

I know, and so everybody thinks that sounds horrible, which it kind of can be, but spending it in the 82-degree pool is pretty nice during the day.

Speaker 3:

I love that trip that we always took in August, when it was hotter than hell. And we stayed on Minnesota time, the very Midwest time, you know the whole time. So we were in the pool by 10. We'd already done all of our other things and we're like let's go.

Speaker 4:

Yeah, we'd work our morning and then jump in the pool. Yeah, we were. We need to get on that, you know. Schedule again yes, hear it out. Well, anyway, this is three cocktails in Our podcast. Yeah, I'm trying to figure out what I'm going to say on the fly Our podcast, which we have been enjoying almost a year we're almost to a year, if you can believe it.

Speaker 3:

Wow, okay, I think we've only missed one week.

Speaker 4:

Yes, Last week.

Speaker 3:

Last week.

Speaker 4:

Last week you know how sometimes you just get, you know, busy, and we just couldn't connect, we couldn't find a day we could, you know, all get together, and so, yeah, we kind of justically a nightmare it was and so, yeah, we skipped a week, so hopefully we still have listeners left for this week. Maybe they all jump ship. We'll see. I don't know. They know, yes, I know. Yeah this has been fun. Yes, for sure.

Speaker 3:

I want to do a recap when we get to that, to the one-year part, I want us to go back to some of the things we talked about and said we were going to do Just like. You know nothing super fabulous. And see, have opinions changed. Did we check things off? Did we? You know now? Now, what are we thinking? Yeah, I agree. Yep, yep, we'll do that for our one year anniversary.

Speaker 4:

How about that? Oh my God. We got to start planning it now because we better start.

Speaker 5:

Yes, we better. So what is it? What is the one year anniversary?

Speaker 4:

um mid-october, I think we dropped on october 16. Maybe was the first day. All right, yeah, we got a month and we have a month to figure it out. You know we'll probably talk about it like the 12th oh, probably october 12th, and they'll say, oh yeah, we were going to do that.

Speaker 3:

Yeah, there we go. That's how it goes. We might want to also plan another corporate retreat for year two. Yeah, you need a shareholders meeting. Yes we do.

Speaker 4:

Yeah, because as. I remember we held that in July of last year and it took until October to actually have an episode we could. Yes, that was really where we decided to actually do it.

Speaker 5:

We'd been talking about it enough, we decided we were going to commit to it. We needed to name it, we needed to put a date on the calendar. That's when that happened, yep.

Speaker 3:

And there was video proof.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, and that got erased yeah.

Speaker 5:

I'm not sure that that video proof still exists I think we've learned our lesson.

Speaker 4:

However, we won't be having kitty record again because she doesn't like it, unless she deletes it. Yeah, record I did that yes, a couple of times, oh, shoot. So there you go.

Speaker 1:

Yeah.

Speaker 4:

Well, our episode today. We all have seen this stat online. I've seen a couple of different short you know videos about it. That claims one in five. No videos about it. That claims one in five. Parents attend a young person's interview with them. So a young person's trying to get a job go to an interview and the parent goes along.

Speaker 3:

Not just young. They polled 800 people ages 18 to 27.

Speaker 4:

Yeah, so I mean people looking for a full-time job. More than likely is my guess.

Speaker 3:

Right, but that's not young I mean by the time you're 27,.

Speaker 5:

It's not your first job.

Speaker 4:

I would think not. I would think not by the time you're 18, you should not.

Speaker 3:

Well, this is the whole thing. If they were 14, couldn't drive you know, going to McDonald's and your mom went and sat and had a Diet Coke while you're in the interview somewhere else.

Speaker 4:

Okay, that's different. Yes, different.

Speaker 3:

We're talking 18, college grad, possibly first job, possibly.

Speaker 5:

All right, so this was brand new to me. I hadn't seen this. I knew nothing about this whatsoever. So what is the purpose of the parent being?

Speaker 1:

there, yeah, exactly.

Speaker 5:

What is their role in the interview?

Speaker 4:

exactly is literally attending because I have heard of it before, just this week when I saw pop up a couple of times, I think they're literally attending, attending, not just sitting in the parking lot yeah. They want to have a say with who's ever interviewing. And I'd have to be honest if that happened to me. There's no way I'd hire that person because for either the reason your, you know, your parent is going to want to, you know.

Speaker 3:

Stick their nose in all the time. Stick their nose in all the time, and number two is that person confident enough?

Speaker 4:

you know, I mean, and that would be my question, is the young person asking the parent to go or is the parent, but you know, into the process?

Speaker 3:

I don't know. I I heard one, or I read, yeah, I, I read one recruiter, maybe not a recruiter somebody in hr that said, um, they wouldn't even interview the person. Yeah, yeah, I'm befuddled with this because I also, in a similar vein, I also saw somebody talking about that. There are it's more common now for there to be Facebook groups of college parents who talk to each other to try and help their kids. I'm not talking about you know, where do we grab a burger? They are trying to still schedule haircuts for their kids.

Speaker 3:

They're trying to all sorts of shit, and I'm thinking to myself.

Speaker 4:

I have so many questions about this?

Speaker 3:

yeah, because first of all, I didn't want my mom and dad knowing anything I was doing at college, and kitty was my roommate for two years, so I'm pretty sure she didn't want her mom and dad. Sorry, linda we were angels, you know, knowing our ins and outs.

Speaker 3:

Yes, okay, so so we can discuss that. But also I'm trying to figure out what age group are the parents that are so invested in their kids. How were they raised and how is this coming up? Because I started to do the math, I'm like well shit, ava's in that age range age 18 to 27.

Speaker 4:

Right in that age range age 18 to 27, right, so parents have to be somewhere around my age. Yeah, yeah, yeah, but some younger. I mean, in my opinion, anywhere from, you know, low 40s to our age. I mean it could be.

Speaker 3:

you could be early 40s Having an 18 year old. Probably, yeah, maybe.

Speaker 4:

Could be. Yeah, mid 40s, yeah, I'm just not sure why, I don't know. I just can't get it because I don't know why in your mind you would think that's good to just still control your 20 something child, you know, and not give, but let them be independent and do their own everything. But I've heard that I mean I've known people who've made doctor's appointments and appointments for their 20 some year old kids and I just don't get it. I really don't yeah.

Speaker 5:

I. I'd like to know what company, what, what are the companies that are allowing these additional people to an interview, Because that just doesn't even. How do you, how do you ask, how do you say, oh, my mom's going to come with me. I know because the number that you threw out, Amy, that's a big number.

Speaker 4:

It is.

Speaker 5:

Yeah, of people who are actually doing this.

Speaker 4:

Right 20%, 20%.

Speaker 3:

Yeah, I think that, um cause, I did Google it, I did kind of look online to make sure this just wasn't one of those internet things and there are a number of different um media outlets, mainstream, whatever you know all sorts of places citing probably the same, the same study. I think it was polled. I think it was 18 to 27 year olds that they were the ones polled and they responded that yes, they had brought a parent.

Speaker 5:

Wow, well, okay, so let's let's kind of track this back a little bit and thinking about so why, why might this be happening? I do think that kids graduate from college and have no freaking clue what to do next. Now, we didn't either. Right, we didn't either, and we just figured it out. And this was before the internet and everything we we've talked about this here. We waited for the newspaper to come out on sunday that had the ads in the paper.

Speaker 4:

So yeah, or or you just went around to different businesses and handed their, handed them the resume in person, or you mailed it places saying I know if you have a, if you have a position open, please, here's my resume, please consider me kind of thing. There's a lot of yeah, looking and mailing and talking and yeah.

Speaker 5:

I go ahead, but so it seems like so if you think about so. If you're graduating from college, there are colleges who I think all colleges have a placement department that theoretically they are supposed to. They're there to help you transition from college to finding finding your job. I don't know how effective those are, um, but like our alma mater does a mentorship program, so they will, and they don't do it for every student. They started with a sort of a beta program with certain majors and the goal was that eventually every student be paired up with an alumni an alum that's in the workforce that basically can look at a resume, answer questions, help them get ready for an interview, help them network. I love that idea. I think that's really smart and in an ideal world, wouldn't it be great if every student getting ready to graduate from college has somebody on the outside that's not a parent. That's the key here. It shouldn't be a parent because the parent is too close to the situation. They can't be objective about it.

Speaker 3:

And again, there's a lot of kids out there that don't have a parent that knows how the system works. We are three white women raised by white women in the Midwest. The system has always been set up for us. Yeah, there's a lot of kids out there that don't have the structure, the privilege for lack of a better term that we were raised with. So it's fabulous that Gustavus is trying to do something that is helpful, regardless of what your situation is.

Speaker 5:

Yeah, yeah. And just helps kids not be so scared. I mean so. I did it for a few years. I was a mentor and these kids were just so clueless they didn't know anything and just riddled with anxiety because they thought that they needed to land their dream job. They thought that they were going to in their first year out of college, that they were going to make $100,000 a year. You know, it's like, okay, let's ground ourselves a little bit here.

Speaker 3:

That's really interesting that you mentioned that, because that was one of two comments from a recruiter about these young people that come in. One was they have unrealistic expectations of their earnings at their first position, and the second was inappropriate clothing, which we've also talked about, which we get heat about. You know sort of thing, but yeah.

Speaker 5:

Yeah, so it's just good to have somebody to help you understand what's real.

Speaker 4:

Right yeah.

Speaker 5:

Yeah, and I I've certainly been in situations when I've managed a younger person and when we've gone through the yearly review and the request for a raise. The review and the request for a raise, the the conversation that I end up having with the person is I can hear the parent. It's the parent has coached that kid and yeah, and it's like you can't coach your kid in the same way that you, as a 40 year old or 50 year old, might go in and try to with experience, yeah, yeah with experience and everything.

Speaker 4:

Yeah, one year isn't quite cutting it. I only have experience with Iowa State. Oh, by the way, the Iowa State Cyclones beat the Iowa Hawkeyes in football yesterday by one point. I know In Iowa City, so that was pretty good.

Speaker 4:

Anyway, iowa State, it seems like all the different you know majors and you know colleges type thing have so many job fairs. They have job fair after job fair. They have job postings you know in a different, you know in each kind of you know major or each job you're looking for, type of job you're looking for. So I just can't imagine how there's not enough help you know out there to help go that way. But I think it's even before that, in my opinion, it's before that.

Speaker 4:

So I have a friend that works at a college that does I think she does admissions and probably a hundred other things. But she told us this story one time and only because we knew this you know person, this family, how the mother, literally, you know, was in the meetings, wanted to talk to her online, wanted to discuss her schedule, you know um, you know the child's schedule and all this stuff, and she was just like why? Why are you in the middle of this. This is the child's responsibility. Why are you trying to? You know, do all this, and that was interesting. I have a feeling that maybe helps. You know, happens more often than we think.

Speaker 3:

I want to take it back even farther than that, More often than we think. I want to take it back even farther than that. I want to take this back to school high school, middle school.

Speaker 1:

Yeah.

Speaker 3:

And even elementary school, from when my girls were in elementary school. From when my girls were in elementary school, the whole idea of everything that the PTA and PTO and room mothers do for those kids is out of control. You've got predominantly moms in their school, in their business, from day one. Yes, we're not just talking about we're going to the zoo. We need some adult volunteers. We're not talking about an after-school fair. Can we get some volunteers? We're talking about parents who bring their kids lunch and eat lunch with them because they want to during the week. And then, on top of that, let's train the parents to use the apps so that we can watch every single thing our kid is doing or not doing. We are training both the kids to expect parental involvement and we're training the parents that it is your job to get your child through, and so I think it just escalates. I mean, I've talked about it before. Why do we've talked about it before? We've talked about it before?

Speaker 3:

Why don't kids get their driver's license when they're 16? I read a statistic that said in 1990 or whatever, 86% of kids who turn 16 got their driver's license within like two months. Now it's like 40%. There's just this weird dynamic and I'm trying to figure out when, when and why. Are parents so in their kids' business all the time? And my kids will probably say I was in their business, um, but, as I reminded them all the time, never tracked their phone. I could get in and see what their grades were, and I never went in and saw their grades. I really consciously thought to myself my parents didn't know any of this stuff about me and I turned out fine. I wanted to have the same type of hand. Yes, I asked them a lot of questions and got, like you know, 25% of the answers that I wanted. So I just kept asking questions, but I didn't feel the need to be in their stuff.

Speaker 4:

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And most of the time I feel like my kids didn't ask for help. I mean, they didn't ask me to go. You know, help them on behalf of you know them. So.

Speaker 3:

Yeah, I'd hear the old, don't you say a word? Yeah, okay, okay, sort of thing.

Speaker 5:

Yeah, parenting changed somewhere, somewhere in there, and we there will be a lot of people who there could be a lot of people who listened to this episode and and completely disagree with us.

Speaker 3:

I'd love to hear from them.

Speaker 4:

Yeah, so why yeah?

Speaker 5:

And, and I'm not, I'm not, I'm not trying to diss on anybody, but so if, if, if, I think about all the influencers that I follow on Instagram that tend to be in thes, okay, and they're all deep in the, they're having kids and they're in that, and they are, so they are working, and I don't mean to use the air quotes. That is a job. Being an influencer is a job. I did not mean to do this, but their work is different than our work, right, it takes a completely different form. They are in their home, they're right, it's. It's different, um, they are their boss, okay.

Speaker 5:

So it seems like, well, across the board, all of those influencers influencers that I follow, it they are. It is their lives, are their kids. They're the ones doing the big um, the big gender reveals, and the parties that you need a party planner to create, and there are thousands of dollars to have these parties for kids, and it's just, it just become these things just become bigger and bigger and bigger and bigger. And it's like and maybe this is going to be a sweeping generalization, but when we were having our kids, we were very focused on the family, making money, right, having our jobs, having our careers and I don't know. I mean, we're all a product of the way that our parents raised us. So what I'm saying is that then there, there was this change. Parenting changed somewhere between this generation that we are in and the generation of the 30 something year old parents that are now just over the top my kiddos, my kiddos, my kiddos. If I, if I hear people say my kiddos one more time, I'm going to barf.

Speaker 3:

Yeah, thanks, joanna Gaines I hate that.

Speaker 5:

I hate that word, um, and I don't. I don't want this to sound like I'm an old lady bitching about. I don't want this to sound like I'm an old lady bitching about about the younger generation. But it changed. Can? Can we acknowledge the fact that somewhere along the line, parenting changed and this is what we're seeing. This is the result of that, and it could also have something to do with the fact that this next generation, I believe and we need to fact check this but this next generation is one of the first ones that may not do better than our generation, when before this, each of our generations, we were able to do better than the previous. Yeah, so I think that has something to do with it. It's these parents saying well, I don't, I don't want my kid to struggle, I don't want my kid to have to live in a crappy apartment like we did when we had our first job.

Speaker 3:

Right, there were three of us in a one bedroom. Yeah, three of us in a one bedroom, yeah.

Speaker 1:

Did it hurt us?

Speaker 3:

No, no, it's some of the best stories that I've got, yeah, like when we piled all Caroline's dirty dishes on her bed because she'd never watched them From her boyfriend's at two in the morning and laid in bed and got a fork up her butt. That was just the best, oh God, yeah.

Speaker 4:

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, no frozen in a really funny look, isn't it? You are frozen. We can hear you, but your face is frozen.

Speaker 3:

It could be well I haven't had botox lately so it's not quite that frozen yeah it could be a worse.

Speaker 4:

You could have frozen on a worse, um you know, look honestly, yeah, that's true, it's not bad.

Speaker 3:

Um. So, kitty, one of the things. Well, as you guys were talking about the um, the job fairs and the the um departments at the colleges, like anything you've got to go to them.

Speaker 4:

Yes.

Speaker 3:

You've got to actually go. You have to attend yes, you have to go. So you know, like Gustavus, when we were there had a big two-day job fair, maybe in the cities. Did they take us to the cities, Kitty, yeah.

Speaker 5:

But, this was a big darn deal. Yeah, I want to say it was at the Metrodome.

Speaker 3:

Yeah, I think so Huge, but we prepped and prepped and prepped and you had to sign up to go and you had to. I mean it was a lot of stinking work and I remember, you know, probably talking about it with my parents or maybe it came home from the in a newsletter or something and my parents saying you are going to that that was the extent of their help it was. You will go. So you better go figure that out. Yeah, interesting Our dear friend Gary V. Uncle Gary, he can't be uncle because we're older.

Speaker 4:

So our nephew Gary, maybe that's a better way to say it. Nephew, gary, that'd be more likely.

Speaker 3:

Yeah, One of his recent YouTube videos. He was talking about these young kids who are just ripping on their parents and he said if you're taking their money, shut your mouth. Yeah, so, good.

Speaker 2:

It's such a good one, yep, it is a good one.

Speaker 3:

Yep.

Speaker 2:

It is a good one.

Speaker 3:

You know, if you, how can you help? Parent was saying how can we help them have grit? And he said cut them off. Yeah, cut them off.

Speaker 4:

Yeah, I think he changed his stance even in that thing. He started with 18 and then he went to 22. He said if you graduate from college and are still on your parents' dole, you need to just take whatever they're saying. Then it's their rules.

Speaker 5:

Yep and get off the family plan Right.

Speaker 3:

Get off the family. Payroll man, that's a glorious day, yes for sure. Oh man.

Speaker 1:

I don't know.

Speaker 3:

I just I was shocked, I can't.

Speaker 4:

I know, do you think a helicopter mom recognizes that that's what she is doing everything for her kids.

Speaker 5:

Um, I think, I think, I think a lot of them do yeah.

Speaker 4:

They do it anyway.

Speaker 5:

Yeah, yep, I think they, um, they see it as that, that's their job, that's their job.

Speaker 4:

I just feel like your job is supposed to end. You're supposed to be doing that job until you know they're in college and at that point your job is to just help when asked, not rule everything, not control it.

Speaker 5:

There's a difference between right being there to offer advice and guide and doing it for them.

Speaker 4:

Right.

Speaker 5:

Yeah.

Speaker 4:

For sure.

Speaker 5:

Well, I feel like I want to. I mean, I I have a number of recruiter friends and I need to know more about this I know, right, it's.

Speaker 4:

It's quite odd, yeah, quite odd. I, I've never experienced it. I've interviewed, you know, I don't know how many, 20, maybe people, all young, most you know, college graduate soon after graduating college. No one has ever, no one has ever, suggested it. I probably would have, you know, my mouth would have dropped and it's like, uh, you know I, you know, like I said at the beginning, it would have been a confidence thing for me. If this person doesn't have the confidence to come alone and interview, yeah, not sure that'd be, you know, the right, the right fit. I don't know, I don't know. It's interesting. Yeah, well, we lost Amy. I'm guessing she's trying to get back, get back in.

Speaker 1:

But I believe, so.

Speaker 3:

Well, I tried to turn my camera off and see if I could turn it back on, and that's not working. But can you hear me? We?

Speaker 4:

can hear you. You're still part of three cocktails in.

Speaker 3:

Well, excellent. I'm always part of three cocktails.

Speaker 1:

Yeah.

Speaker 5:

We'll have to circle back on this topic when we um do our redo. Yeah.

Speaker 4:

I know.

Speaker 5:

I'll get some more input on it, because now I'm fascinated.

Speaker 3:

I know I didn't want to interview myself. I can't imagine sitting and listening to some to my children interview when you know you're like, oh, did you just say that?

Speaker 4:

or yeah, yeah oh yes, my kids would never have never in a million years would have wanted me anywhere near it.

Speaker 5:

So it's also. It's also one of those things that when I think about it, just like when I see kids standing at the bus stop and I get that kind of pit in my stomach um, it's the same thing when I think about people getting ready for their first interview, or or not even their first interview, people who find themselves in transition at at any point in their career and they haveed, you know whatever. It's just you know, having to go back and do something like that again after so many years, just the feeling of that is awful in itself.

Speaker 3:

But yet anxiety and dealing with those situations is so much a part of life we are not doing our children any favors if we shelter them from all uncomfortable things, we end up with kids who are 25 and want to bring mom to an interview.

Speaker 4:

Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's why I think it starts way before that, yeah.

Speaker 2:

Awesome.

Speaker 3:

It's okay to fail when you're young. Let your kids try things on their own. Tell them you will still love them, but they need to do it yeah.

Speaker 4:

Yep, they need their own checkbook, their own credit card, maybe their own appointment book. You know calendar?

Speaker 3:

Yeah.

Speaker 4:

Do it on their own.

Speaker 1:

Yeah.

Speaker 4:

Okay.

Speaker 3:

Listen to us old women.

Speaker 4:

I know, Yep, oh wow.

Speaker 3:

Yep.

Speaker 4:

Oh well, so yes, we will have to circle back on this one someday.

Speaker 5:

Yeah.

Speaker 4:

What else do you have as we close this out? That's about all I got. Oh, no, yeah, I hope we hear. Yeah, I hope we hear from some people. And, like you said, kitty, I want to hear from some people. And like you said, kitty, I want to hear from the people that disagree, yeah, yes.

Speaker 4:

So we hope we get some comments on this one, and maybe they'll probably be my kids saying I don't know, who knows, who knows what they'll say We'll see. Okay, well, well, we're gonna close this one out. So, from three cocktails into you, you have an awesome week see you next week, friends all right, I got that.

Speaker 1:

wow, who wants some heads up right now? We got that. Turn it up loud. I know you're wondering how.

Speaker 2:

I got that. Wow, here I go. Here I go, coming. I can't ever stop. I'm a tour de force running. Get me to the top. I don't need an invitation. I'm about to start a celebration. Let me in Brought a good time. Put some friends, turn it up.

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