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3 Cocktails In
Addicting conversations between friends who have been there, done that and still want more.
We are 3 friends who got this crazy idea to start a podcast based on our friendships, family lives, professional lives and experiences! This idea kept coming up in our conversations, especially after a cocktail or two or maybe three, and we finally decided to ACT on it!
We don't claim to be experts on too many things, but friendship? Well, we've got that down. We're making our way through major life changes, searching for work that excites us, busting myths associated with 'old' people, and keeping a sense of humor about it all.
Self employed, boss - CHECK
Mom, wife, single - CHECK
Rural, suburban, urban life - CHECK
Vodka, gin, wine - CHECK
Make sure to subscribe to our channel ~ FOMO is real and it sucks.
Amy, Kitty & Stacey
P.S. Isn't our intro music great?! Yah, we think so too. Thank you, Ivy States for "I Got That Wow".
3 Cocktails In
Balancing the Joy of Life with the Reality of Loss
Ever found yourself laughing over cocktail banter, only to be swept into touching stories about love and loss? That was us, starting with a playful confusion about the days of the week while Stacey sipped a Carbliss black raspberry vodka cocktail and Amy, a classic gin and tonic. From there, we shared the joy of family gatherings at the 2024 Voith Olympics, complete with captivating moments like a winning pickleball serve from Stacey's mother that had everyone in stitches. Food enthusiasts will appreciate dining tales from Smack Shack, adding more flavor to our evening of fun and connection.
But life isn't all laughter and lighthearted games. We took a heartfelt turn to talk about the emotional intricacies of dealing with terminal illness and the inevitable loss of loved ones. With personal stories about our own parents' hospice journeys, we emphasized the importance of planning end-of-life arrangements. The relief it brings to both those passing and the ones left behind is immeasurable. Whether it's designating an executor or just preparing emotionally, these steps are crucial, especially for those living alone.
In our final chapter, we tackled the practicalities of memory preservation and estate planning. By choosing the right executors and organizing our belongings, we can ensure a smoother process for our families. Inspired by Marie Kondo, we discussed the sentimental value of items and the emotional journey of decluttering. We wrapped up with a lighthearted discussion on the importance of having essential tools, like tweezers, in our purses and the necessity of open communication with loved ones about future plans. Join us for an episode that masterfully blends humor and sensitivity to help you cherish the present while preparing for the future.
Make sure to subscribe to our channel, comment, like, and share!
Amy, Kitty & Stacey
P.S. Isn't our intro music great?! Yah, we think so too. Thank you, Ivy States for "I Got That Wow".
Hello, I'm a tour de force running. Get me to the top. I don't need an invitation. I'm about to start a celebration.
Speaker 2:Hello.
Speaker 3:Hello, hello, how are you? I'm very good, and how are you?
Speaker 2:I'm good it's Saturday night for me.
Speaker 3:Ah yeah that would be nice.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it's Tuesday for the rest of the world, but when it drops it'll be Thursday. So let's just really confuse things, shall we? I know right? Yes, we have a lot of confusing things tonight. Yeah, we do, we sure do.
Speaker 3:Should we talk about what we're drinking first?
Speaker 2:One moment. Let's introduce ourselves. This is Three Cocktails In, but if you're watching and listening closely, you're only going to be hearing from two out of the three cocktails. So it is the delegate from Iowa and the delegate from Minneapolis here to chit-chat tonight about some big things and some little things, right? So let's do talk about our cocktails, okay.
Speaker 3:What do you got? That's in a pretty glass too.
Speaker 2:Yes, it's called the happiest hourglass. It's gold and sparkly. What do?
Speaker 3:you got. It is pretty Well. You can't see my glass, but it is my three cocktails in glass.
Speaker 2:Yes, and the drink matches your fingernails, I know and the drink is Carb Liss.
Speaker 3:I think I talked about this one time that I suddenly happened on these. So Carb Liss is a craft vodka cocktail. This one happens to be black raspberry, which I like. Okay, but I like the cranberry better. So the kicker is no carbs, zero sugar, a hundred calories, gluten-free. There you go. So it's a little less caloric than a lot, a lot of them.
Speaker 2:So is that a drive to work, or is it a cocktail?
Speaker 3:Oh no, it's a vodka cocktail.
Speaker 2:Oh, okay, okay, Do not drive that, do not drink that.
Speaker 3:No it's not a bubbly water, it's actually got vodka in it. I thought I saw somewhere where it said how much, but I don't know.
Speaker 2:Oh, it's usually what 5%? Most of those, yeah, 5%, 5%, yeah, yeah, what 5% 5%, yeah, yeah, what is? Alcohol. I'm rocking the old-fashioned gin and light tonic, so I've got a Hendrix and light tonic with a twist of a lime.
Speaker 2:I have to tell you, yeah, it's very good, it's very refreshing. Went out for dinner last night at Smack Shack, which is I don't. Do you guys have those like in Des Moines or Ames smack shack? I don't know if I don't know how far the franchise goes Um, but it's kind of bougie seafood for people who like to eat in shorts. So, um, you know it, it was a great night last night, beautiful weather. I hadn't eaten out hardly at all this summer, and so I talked somebody into sitting outside at the patio, which was delightful. But they make a gin and tonic on tap. It's got grapefruit and then a stock of rosemary in it. Oh, my goodness, it was so good and I'm not even I'm not even a huge grapefruit person, but the grapefruit wedge was enormous. And, um, damn if I didn't finish that cocktail and eat the orange, eat the grapefruit and then get myself another one.
Speaker 2:So evidently soaking a grapefruit in gin is a good idea. Must be good yeah, with rosemary swizzle sticks. So that was very nice. Very nice yeah. So what's been going on with you? Oh gosh.
Speaker 3:Same old days.
Speaker 2:Now you had the Voith Olympics last weekend.
Speaker 3:Yes, we did. I hosted the 2024 Voith Olympics, which is my side of the family, and we've talked before how my family loves to play games. It doesn't matter what game, everybody's in it and playing it right. So we had driveway pick a ball, we had spike ball, we had a new game called Mulky, which is kind of like a yard game, kind of a cross between, maybe yard bowling and bags sort of, and then when we got tired and hot, we'd go inside and then start playing all the card games. So that's what we did. Who were the big winners of the weekend?
Speaker 2:Who brought home the gold hot. We go inside and then start playing all the card games, so that's what we did. Also, who were the big winners of the weekend? Who brought home the gold.
Speaker 3:Yeah, ty, I think, got three golds and a silver. So he, that would be my daughter's husband. He did very well. Um, the rest of us were just kind of in it. Trenton did okay, I don't know, he was my uh, um, partner, partner for pickleball, just okay. So I'm sure that was more me than him, but that's the way it goes I have come across some, some bless their hearts women who seem old to me.
Speaker 2:So who knows, I am old, are they? Still 59 or 65? Yeah, exactly, but they are little pieces on this chalkboard chalkboard talking about the kitchen and where these are. I mean, she looked like she was coaching an NFL you know, superbowl Sunday, talking about strategy, and this woman doesn't look like she could carry a bag of groceries into her house. She was just this little itty bitty, teeny, tiny thing with her hat on and her, and I'm thinking I would get my ass handed to me if I had to play pick a ball.
Speaker 3:Yeah, yeah, my brother, um, played a couple of games. We made my mom play and she actually made like the winning serve and the winning shot of one game and we just thought it was hilarious, because she's awful, you know what I mean, obviously. So that's so, that's why he got her. But yeah, she had fun, we all had fun, nobody got too big a fight.
Speaker 2:So yeah, that's good yeah, your mom is like the best sport ever.
Speaker 3:Oh yeah, she's down to anything. Yeah, pretty much.
Speaker 2:Yep Talk about aging goals. Mother Mary, right up there, yeah, she's an inspiration to me yeah, she'll still do about anything. Yep, that's awesome, that's awesome, it's awesome.
Speaker 3:How about you? What's been going on with you?
Speaker 2:Well, not to toot my own horn, but on the topic of inspiration goals, I shared a picture on my Facebook page and I am such a Minnesotan, I I went back and forth Do I share it? Don't I share it? Do I went back and forth do I share it? Don't I share it? Do I share it? Don't I share it? And then it really just hit me that this is, I'm gonna share it. And it's pretty much the point of what we're trying to do with this whole podcast. We're not old, we're not too old.
Speaker 2:Let's, let's not too, old, we still have a lot of life in us, we still have goals and dreams and things that we want.
Speaker 2:And I found out when we were in France that I earned the Champions Club distinction with work for the third quarter last year this year, I should say this year, year this year, I should say this year. So what that means is I met my goals and I got some great reviews back from buyers in the neighborhood and I got this gorgeous little crystal kind of etched thing and I posted a picture and just basically said you know, you're not too old, I changed careers two years ago, three years ago, about two or three years ago. I made some huge life changes and it just feels so damn good when you find that thing that you love to do. And it goes back to me liking to go to. I like to go to work, I like what I'm doing and I just wanted to share that so that other people could think hell, if that ding-a-ling can do it, so can I. So I got my trophy, got my shirt. I'm kind of excited about it, just felt good yeah.
Speaker 3:And I feel like, besides that, you got a lot of comments of people you know commenting and I don't think that's bragging. I know that was kind of your in your mind to start with, like, oh, I'm bragging about this. No, I think it's an opportunity for women to see women doing something and celebrating. Women, you know things, you, you can accomplish celebrating women.
Speaker 2:You know things, you, you can accomplish, yeah, and not just I mean yes. Of course there's the cohort of us that perhaps had been, has been doing this the same thing for a long time, maybe just not excited about it, would like to try something new. Or there's younger women who are like, well, crap, I have lots of time ahead that I could do something different, if I'm not crazy about what I'm doing now. And so I did get lots of good comments from men and women, lots of different ages. So, yeah, to be able to share that and say, hey, it's worth it, yes, it's hard it is hard.
Speaker 2:And, yes, sometimes we are old and a little bit, you know, I don't want to say stuck in our ways, but we don't know how. Everything you got to adapt, you got to go with it, but the alternative is worse. Yeah, yeah, for sure.
Speaker 3:So so yeah, I was thinking about that.
Speaker 2:Between that and then you know a good gin and tonic that's got some grapefruit in it.
Speaker 1:It's a good day. I don't ask for much, right, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2:So the question maybe people are wondering where Miss Kitty is, which is kind of gets us to our topic of the day. Kitty's not with us tonight because, unexpectedly, her father passed away about a week ago Shocking, of course, and we hope she and her family are doing well. We've been in touch with her and she's had a lot of time that she could spend with her sister and her mom, and I know that that was just really important. So, instead of having to worry about jumping on and talking about all sorts of stuff we got to talking about when our parents died, both of my parents have passed away. Stacy, your dad has passed away. Right, my, both my parents passed away from cancer, one she lived with for eight years. The other one came up on my dad pretty quickly. I think your dad was kind of a surprise too, wasn't it?
Speaker 3:kind of a surprise too, wasn't it? Um, yes, a surprise, but you know, his end lasted a while. It was not a. It was not a shock, like I think kitty's was okay. It wasn't shocking. We were getting closer and closer to assuming that that's what was going to happen, you know, and I don't know which is better just have it over or watch them do the slow decline, right? You know that's kind of hard to watch at the same time. Yeah, neither is good.
Speaker 2:You know that's how I felt about it too that you know, once my mom was diagnosed with ovarian cancer, um, and it was it was pretty, I don't know, maybe stage three when they when they caught it, but she lived eight years with it. You know, we pretty much knew that that was going to be the what was going to cause her, her death. And so you would think, over the course of eight years you'd have some time to mentally wrap your head around it. But also, in the course of those eight years you've got your own life going on and you don't want to sit and think about it, so you stay present and in the moment. And then, when it actually gets down to it, both my parents were in hospice.
Speaker 2:I know there are people that use hospice as not quite like the last two weeks of life, like my parents did, but they use it for help in long term, keeping people at home that are. You know there's a lot of different ways to use hospice, but I don't think you can ever truly be prepared to not have that last conversation, to be blindsided by oh, I'm in the car, this is when I would always call mom and she's not there, sort of thing, so not only our parents, but now I hate to say it, but you know, we might need to get our ducks in a row.
Speaker 3:Are you saying we're no spring chickens?
Speaker 2:Yeah, and I didn't want to say the chickens, so I opted for ducks.
Speaker 3:You know getting the ducks in a row instead of the chickens. Yes.
Speaker 2:I know, yeah, so I was surprised when my parents passed away that they didn't have a plan for my mom.
Speaker 3:Oh, there wasn't.
Speaker 2:I mean, that's a long time she wanted to be cremated, but I'm like could? So my sister and my brother and I sat with my dad, who was just. You know, that's a lot the immediate stuff that you have to go through when a parent dies who doesn't have it all laid out. It doesn't allow you time to grieve Because you get so sucked in to minutiae details, logistics, yeah, and I don't know. I think you had said that your parents did have everything planned out.
Speaker 3:Yes, my parents have everything planned out. They have, you know, caskets paid for, bought, you know, all the details, even the funeral details, down to the music that will be played Right. So, yes, that was nice. I mean, we didn't have to, you know, unless we wanted to do something other than what they wished, which we wouldn't do, you know. Unless we wanted to do something other than what they wished, which we wouldn't do, you know, unless we wanted to change something, which we won't, that was nice to have it all. They did it all. They picked what they wanted, you know, had all their, you know, the executor set their plans, that kind of thing, um, already done.
Speaker 2:So that was nice, um, so you mentioned you would make your own kids yeah, I don't have anything like that. Sorry girls, I'll get on that. That'll be my fourth quarter goal for this year. There we go. Take care of my stuff. Fourth quarter goal for this year. Take care of my stuff, get my, get my acting gear. Um, you mentioned executor as the oldest daughter. Are you the executor?
Speaker 3:No, I'm not Nope. Um, my, yeah, my middle brother is. I don't know why they chose him over my younger brother. Um, they both live in the same town. Um, I would think that would be easier to live close to where you know what I mean yeah, you know the people at the bank, you know the people at the church, yeah, and whatever you have to do.
Speaker 2:Yeah, she did the same thing for my dad. For my dad too, because she lived, um, not even a half a mile from him. So that was, that was good. Uh, do, do you have your stuff together?
Speaker 3:Oh no, no, of course not. But you know, and when we started this, you know conversation before you know when we started this. You know conversation before you know when we planned what we were going to do. Um, yeah, topic tonight. You know I have plans in my head but that doesn't really do any good, honestly you know what I mean right, yeah, so that's the question you, you know, are we are we too young to start making plans?
Speaker 3:I'm thinking my parents were more in their, you know, mid 60s, maybe high 60s, when they made all their plans.
Speaker 2:I hate to break it to you, but that isn't so far away. It's not very far away. No, it isn't no, right, yeah, and I'm all alone. So I feel like I really need to get my stuff together and also, because I live by myself, I hope that if I am, you know, we got to come up with some way for somebody to check on me, because right now I don't have one of those necklaces.
Speaker 3:You don't want to wear the.
Speaker 2:I've fallen and I can't get up necklace, right exactly, I do usually have my cell phone pretty close to me, but again, you know and I don't have an Alexa, I do have the other one who I don't want to turn on right now that I suppose I could call somebody. But, like, if you don't hear from me in, can you be my designated well checker person? Yes, if you don't hear from me, like or see a post from me or a message or connections or wordle from me in like three to four days, could you maybe?
Speaker 3:reach out. Yes, I mean three days. That's what you want your number to be Three days. I don't see anything.
Speaker 1:You send wordle every day.
Speaker 2:Yeah, but if I, but if I haven't told you, I'm going to be not wordling or I'm gone or something, and just out of the blue you've noticed, three days have gone by. I wonder.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I'll try to notice that it's been three days great so you'll be on your phone too.
Speaker 2:Every three days, have you heard from amy?
Speaker 3:yes, I'll check.
Speaker 2:I'll start making a mental note, that's oh yeah, yeah, making a mental note that, oh yeah, try and try and remember that. I know, I know. So we're in this weird. I'm sure we're not the only people. We are in this weird position where I would guess most people have a parent at least one, if not. Both of their parents are probably still living, and we have adult kids that might be needing to to deal with us. Um, you know, I don't want my kids to have to wrestle with all this. My, my numbers girl, the one that would be probably most likely to deal with all the um, deal with all the um, the logistics stuff. She's too dang far away, right? So, um, I need to probably designate somebody. And so the conversation came up and I'm going to say it who do I select as an executor?
Speaker 3:her. Yeah, I mean, if we're going with someone that's close, you know you have a daughter that's fairly close to you. But that's the question would she be the best, the best choice today? And I think, as they get older, I think that that that might change. But having a young, a young daughter, do it 28.
Speaker 2:Yeah, Um, I think that's a lot. I think that's a lot and strangely, as we've talked about this, I think I'm leaning towards my ex-husband. I think I'm leaning towards my ex-husband, isn't that weird?
Speaker 3:I don't know. Well, he's the father of your kids, so it's not like he's going to abscond with all of my assets, right?
Speaker 2:He didn't want these assets four years ago.
Speaker 3:He certainly doesn't want them now he's probably you know, it could be the opposite. It could be the you know final F you to it where? He has to deal with all your stuff and get rid of all your stuff and deal with your you know, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2:Well, my thought process actually was you know, everything I have is for my kids. They're kids too. He is a great dad. He is going to want to protect, yeah whatever assets may be there for them and take that on himself.
Speaker 3:So that, yeah yeah, not an awful idea.
Speaker 2:We do have an amicable relationship.
Speaker 3:You do so. Therefore, it's not an awful idea.
Speaker 2:It's not an awful idea and if he's listening, I'll talk to you about this, not on the podcast. We'll have a conversation about this. We'll have a conversation.
Speaker 3:This didn't make it official. Make a note.
Speaker 2:Make a note to call me about this. I'm just putting up all this stuff on other people. Make a note, it's great.
Speaker 3:Yes, pushing me towards making a plan.
Speaker 2:Yeah, he loves, he absolutely loves it when I tell him what to do. So.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 2:We'll just be consistent to the end.
Speaker 3:Yeah, but don't. If you name someone, they pretty much have to follow through and do it.
Speaker 2:If you make it official. I think so, god, I hope so.
Speaker 3:It's funny how the algorithms work, because we've had kind of a little bit of this conversation and then up on my feed shows this ad for the If I Die binder. It's $30. So the premise is it keeps all your stuff together, you know. So whoever, whoever is stuck with dealing with your stuff after you die, it's all in one spot in a nice little binder. Um, yeah, so not a bad idea.
Speaker 2:I've gotten just beyond the binder. I've gotten the pack, the ad for the carrying case. It's got all the folders in it and they're all labeled and each page, each folder, has a checklist of stuff you should put in there. I am kind of thinking that might not be bad, because somebody has thought of all the stuff I should put in there.
Speaker 3:Might not be bad because somebody has thought of all the stuff I should put in there, right, and I think the binders, the same way it's got you know pages and folders that says, okay, put your this in this folder, kind of thing. I can't imagine I'd have enough stuff to put in the big you know, I know what you mean like a kind of like a tub, almost small time.
Speaker 2:Yeah well, no, just like you know, instead of a briefcase, it's that clear plastic thing with the lid that comes up in the hanging folders. But they had things in there like spare keys that are in there and labeled.
Speaker 2:And that would be a great idea instead of just having them in a bowl Of what they go to, no labels on any of them. Good times. I'm pretty sure I have some keys to a church that we had Girl Scout meetings at when I was in fourth grade. I have keys from 20 years ago that don't even belong to any building I ever owned, so yeah, oh, my yeah.
Speaker 2:Yeah. So, um, now let's really take a moment and laugh, because so many things come to mind and of course, you know this is one of these things that sometimes I get super embarrassed when I get my mail and other times I'm like fuck it, sorry. Um, I think I stuck this together, maybe because of my, my tonic, but look at what I have right in front of me. A, a r?
Speaker 3:e, yes, your art magazine. And is that? Who's on the cover? Costner evan costner.
Speaker 2:Yeah, um, he doesn't look real good in this. This is not very good quality. His face looks a little bit like nougat and I'm not keen on that. But I bring this up because, um, there is a really good article in here. So, you know, nobody really subscribes to ARP. You just sort of start getting it and sometimes I look at it, sometimes I don't. But you know what? This was great because it has an article in here called my mom died.
Speaker 2:Then came the ordeal and I read this thing, even though I don't have a mom here or a dad to deal with, and she has some really good suggestions that I think I am going to implement on the off chance that something goes amiss. You want to hear some of these? Sure, okay, take notes. So she knew she was going to be the executor, but I think her mother's death was a surprise, and so there were some things that might have been on the list to get done but didn't get done, and it posed some problems. For instance, prepare for the cost of dying, specifically funeral costs, because you have to pay for all that up front and, even though you're the executor, you don't have access to your parents' financials unless you're already on their bank accounts.
Speaker 2:As a co, you know it's a joint account, so that's one of our very first pieces of advice Name somebody, get them on your account so they can immediately have access and start using your funds or your parents' funds to pay for the things that need to be paid for right away. That's easy. I think that's a smart idea. Yeah, it says. Her next one was when you're an executor, there's even more expenses that you have to start paying for, and that means you have to have all the paperwork showing that you have legal rights to be asking for these things, because other companies besides just the bank aren't going to let you turn off accounts, pay accounts, stop these things if you aren't on them. So you could get yourself added to all the utilities you should. You know that'd be an easy thing to do, but also maybe all the streaming services, netflix, all of those things. The only thing of that that I've done is I have um left one of of my Facebook account when I die.
Speaker 3:Oh, Hmm, so in theory they could post stuff today on your. Facebook account.
Speaker 2:Yes, but they can't pay for anything, but they can keep my social media up.
Speaker 3:There you go, there you go.
Speaker 1:That's an idea.
Speaker 2:Yep, Then something you know this is kind of one of her points on here was a life and death. Lesson. Number three keep detailed records of all calls and conversations with the institutes you deal with, conversations with the institutes you deal with, and make sure you file complaints with regulators if you're not being treated fairly. So when you are trying to battle to shut down the cell phone and you're not getting anywhere, to really do keep very accurate notes and we've joked about it a number of times. I have my pen right here. We've joked about it a number of times that we are already writing things down. We know you've got to write these things down.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 2:And I might be making a sweeping generalization, but I think that there are a few generations following us who don't always have pen and paper and are used to making notes on their phone. Making notes.
Speaker 3:Yeah, Of who they talked to what the?
Speaker 2:conversation was what the date was, what the time was, who you talk to get those numbers, get those names because you might need it, and you know how it is to call in. And you talk to 12 different people because you can't ever call somebody's direct line. So I thought that was really awesome.
Speaker 2:Loved the idea about getting on the utilities. Then you've got, you know, part of the assets, stocks, things like that. If you've got a brokerage, get yourself on that account. But she said her mom had some individually held stocks and bonds and that was a royal pain in the butt for her to get those transferred to a brokerage, you know, or something like that. But when it comes to the final FU to whoever you're dealing with, like you said, you know he would have to sort through all my stuff. Swedish death cleaning have you heard of that?
Speaker 3:No, what do the Swedes do?
Speaker 2:Okay, let me see if I can get to the explanation of the Swedish death cleaning. Sorry, have to, you know, go to the next page in this. Um, basically, the premise is as you age, you yourself go through all your stuff and purge, seriously purge. We're not talking about donate your sweatshirts. The Swedes, they do everything. Get you down to just the bare minimum that you need.
Speaker 3:I even wonder if they're passing on things that bring them joy, like the.
Speaker 2:Marie Kondo. What is her name? You know, get rid of anything. Kondo Kondo, yeah, thanks, but I think it's worth starting earlier than you think you should, but I think it's worth starting earlier than you think you should, I mean think about when I moved.
Speaker 1:I knew. For a year I was moving.
Speaker 2:I didn't have the exact date, but I knew for a year I was moving and we had a three-story house with an unfinished basement full of everything.
Speaker 3:Yes, that was. It was a lot to go through. It certainly was.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and you've got a rental facility in your basement.
Speaker 3:I do I do so? When we packed up Amy's stuff, I took some of her stuff, thinking oh yeah, I want that, I want that, I want that. Oh my gosh, it's still in my basement a lot of it.
Speaker 2:Kitty has some of my stuff, which.
Speaker 3:I love, I love going to Kitty's house.
Speaker 2:Yes, she inherited some stuff of mine and the three of us came up with the whole idea of it. It's kind of a lease, it it a leasing for free. So right in case you ever wanted back yeah, kidding, using the, the glider kit, you know yeah is your mirror still on your table yes, it's painted and it looks good.
Speaker 3:Yep great now to get it hung right, yeah, I got it so I had Amy's in my basement for about two and a half years and she finally decided what she wanted to do with it. Or I just really took it to her and say here you figure out what you're gonna do so it was the mirror that was in our house forever.
Speaker 2:It was maybe the first expensive piece of I don't know if you call it art, you call it furniture, a home furnishing but I got it at a to the trade only design showroom when I first started selling office furniture. It's a very heavy, big mirror and it very much was in the theme of the 90s, with the yellow, gold and the purple grapes and the green leaves around it. And my problem forever has been I didn't know what, I didn't know what color to paint it, because I've got aqua blue in my bedroom. I know right where I want to hang it. That's, that's plus. So after all of this um angst, I painted it gold, yellow, the same color that it almost no, it's goldish.
Speaker 3:It's not the same because you're you're. The original paint was pretty muted yellow this is is.
Speaker 2:This is pretty, it's it. The color is a Sherwin Williams and you pair it's yellow.
Speaker 3:Maybe it is yellow.
Speaker 2:It's not bright yellow, but it it like. Yeah, but I like it. I think it'll be good. It's going to. It's going to be good on that wall. But yes, you got to get rid of that stuff Stuff.
Speaker 3:Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm just afraid, if I give my kids all their stuff that I've been keeping or hoarding whatever you want to call it they'll just throw it away. You know what I?
Speaker 2:mean Okay, so let's talk about that. Tell me more about what you're worried about.
Speaker 3:If it's their stuff and they want to throw it away, well, I don't disagree, I just yeah, maybe they don't want to look at it, but their kids might want to look at their stuff, you know. You know what I mean. I do Baby clothes, stuff from school, their yearbook yeah, you know things like that. But I've got lots of tubs of their stuff so I get it. They could probably pare it down some. I just feel like they dump it all.
Speaker 2:Yeah, like they might not know what it was they wanted to keep or what they should, but again, that's us making decisions for them.
Speaker 3:Yes, that is. I just want to wait until they're older and then maybe they'll. I don't care if they go through it all and pitch stuff, I just don't want them to take the tub and dump it directly in the dumpster. Oh, you want them to actually look at it, sure, or I wait until my grandkids are a little older and I just keep giving them stuff here. Take this of your, of your mother's, take this home.
Speaker 2:Yeah, well, I tried to do that really when we were selling the home. Um, there were a couple of. You know, they each had their favorite toys. Yeah, madeline's, it was always books. She had the 66 court tub full of books, all my Trixie, beltons, babysitter Clubs, harry Potter, you know, she had a bunch of books that she wanted to keep. Georgia, it was art supplies and you know, yeah, art supplies don't last forever. So that really wasn't it, but it was all the Scholastic Book Fair art books that I had bought her and some other stuff like that. And then Ava with those little pet shop toys. Do you remember those little pet shop toys?
Speaker 1:And then all the houses.
Speaker 2:So they each have the 66 quart tub of the toys that they loved and played with. So I thought that was really good. I have one tub of all the dress up dresses that my mom made for them. So my mom took she took bridesmaid dresses. She went garage sailing and bought other formal dresses, brought them home, cut them down and made little like dress up princess dresses. I'm probably guaranteeing that all my grandchildren will be boys.
Speaker 2:You know who don't want to wear the dresses Right, which is, you know, fine, but the fact that I kept them that and their dance costumes because they were in dance for a number of years, and that was the one thing that I didn't let them wear, I mean I didn't let them play, I mean I didn't let them play it, I'm like you know, we don't have that many heirlooms. Your kids are gonna think this is funny. They're gonna like looking at those. And then the rest of it.
Speaker 2:You know a couple of jerseys that they kept um, maybe first pair of cleats right they're gonna be like, look at these brittle things that you know they don't care about anymore. So, yeah, I don't know. So do you have an executor picked out? Do you have who's going to be? You do Tell me more.
Speaker 3:Yeah, so it will be.
Speaker 2:Are you going to name the person?
Speaker 3:So it will be. Are you going to name the person? Um, yes, Conversation first no, he knows it's on him, he knows that it'll be him. I don't know if the two girls do, but it'll be. Yeah, my middle son, just because that's his thing. That's his thing. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yep.
Speaker 2:I think so that's good. So are you going to? When are you going to add him to your accounts? That's a good question.
Speaker 3:That was interesting, the article that you said. I'm more thinking, like you know, for my mom. I hadn't thought of the utilities thing. Yeah, you know, we do have, we're on her checking account but hadn't thought of a lot of the other things.
Speaker 2:Yeah, the utilities, oh, and the passwords. Oh, holy hell, get the passwords now.
Speaker 3:Well, I mean, I have a hard enough time trying to remember them. But yeah, I know. So that's the thing for us, how you know, because, like I don't, I'm paperless, you know what I mean.
Speaker 2:So all the credit cards and you know there are apps there are apps that you can put all your passwords in there, keep them, and then you only have to have one password to get into that password, yes, but I'm just saying we should probably share that somehow, because there won't be a statement laying around where they could even figure out that we had, you know, an account with this account.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that's. Yeah, I kind of like my paper. I like to still look at them. God, I'm decrepit. You know part of it was I loved a shredder.
Speaker 3:Oh my goodness.
Speaker 2:There is nothing more fulfilling than shoving receipts into a shredder. They're just going, and then, yeah, I don't know.
Speaker 3:I just throw them away.
Speaker 1:Just checking.
Speaker 2:Okay, hey, when you were talking about having the funeral plans all mapped out, reminded me of my little Papa Shaw, my dear, dear grandfather, who was the sweetest man, sweet, so sweet, such a kind, kind man. So lived in this little itty bitty town in Iowa, denison. He and myows and widowers from funerals to the funeral home. He was kind of the for lack of a better term a concierge. He didn't have anything to do with the planning of it, he was just there because he was just such a compassionate soul, sure. So when it got time for his funeral, he too, he he had everything mapped out down to the there will be no lime jello served at the post funeral luncheon. Oh, that's funny, I think it's. I thought it was hysterical because this man, if somebody would have given him a bowl of lime jello, he would have eaten every single spoonful and said thank you, it was delicious, but he had that written down. Nobody drinks lime jello.
Speaker 2:So I think, it's worth a few thoughts about what you'd like to have and not have.
Speaker 3:Yep, that's a funny request, but that's what he wants, so that's how it'll be.
Speaker 2:Yep, I think we could take notes. I've given Georgia notes before. I'm like hey, I want this plate at my funeral and she's like great Thanks, mom.
Speaker 3:Thanks. Oh, mine is to my daughters make sure you pluck all my chin hairs. I don't want to be, although I think I'm leaning more towards. You know cremation anyway, so that's a whole other. I don't know why it would be.
Speaker 2:It's so funny that you said that. You know, we put makeup on every day and even if it's not makeup, we put on moisturizer and take our makeup off and we do all that. I was sitting in a parking lot today and I looked up and I'm like where did that one come from? And this one?
Speaker 3:And they weren't great they grow in an hour, I swear they grow in an hour I swear.
Speaker 2:Here's a tip. Ladies and men, here's a tip. I now travel with the tweezers in my emergency bag in my purse and I sat there in the parking lot and I took care of it.
Speaker 3:I have one in my purse. Yeah, mine is more for, not the casket.
Speaker 2:However, it's more for, like you know, when I'm really old and not paying.
Speaker 3:You know, not paying attention.
Speaker 2:please do it. Please do it for me. No, I hand coordination Very good. Let's write that in too.
Speaker 3:Watch the chin hairs.
Speaker 2:There you go, all right. Well, I hope that, um, we've given you guys some good things to think about, both as an adult who needs to get their, their ducks in a row, and as sons and daughters of people who, um, you know, it'd be worth having the conversation now, when it's not offensive and you can laugh about it maybe, maybe have a humorous conversation, but just say, hey, you know, know, I promise I won't withdraw any money if you but you, could you put me on your checking account.
Speaker 2:yeah, right, mom I need a loan, not that sort of conversation and I hope uh, I hope kitty and her family are doing well I hope they've enjoyed being together and have felt the love that we've been sending their way.
Speaker 3:Right, We've been thinking about them all for the past week. For sure it's hard.
Speaker 2:Definitely hard.
Speaker 3:We know.
Speaker 2:Yep, yep, it is so, those good memories, good memories to share. Tell people all you want Right, all right, my friends. That ends yet another addicting conversation with friends who have been there, done that, still want more.
Speaker 3:Yes, for sure, have a good one. Cheers, cheers, cheers, bye-bye, cheers, bye, bye.
Speaker 1:All right, woo Look Bye. So here I go, coming. I can't ever stop. I'ma tour the forest running, get me to the top. I don't need an invitation, knock, knock. I'm about to start a celebration, let me in. Brought a good time for some friends.
