Juggling the Highs and Lows of Professional Strain and Personal Strife (22)

As life throws curveballs, sometimes all you can do is laugh—or maybe shed a tear, even if it's in the break room. This episode is packed with heartfelt stories and sharp insights, starting with the exciting news of a grandchild on the way for Stacey and the light-hearted banter of baby pool bets. But beyond the celebration, we tackle the tides of emotion that color both our personal and professional lives. From the wisdom imparted by Shannon, last week's transitions coach guest, to our own resolve to navigate change with grace, we're peeling back layers to find the strategies that keep us afloat when the waters get choppy.

Workplaces can be pressure cookers for emotional outbursts, and we're serving up real talk on why a good cry might be more effective (and less damaging) than a fiery outburst of frustration. We swap stories from the cutthroat real estate sector to personal migraines that magnify work woes, and even dip into the messy business of drawing boundaries between our careers and personal affairs. Our conversation doesn't shy away from the raw, human moments that remind us we're more than just cogs in a corporate machine—we're people learning to juggle stress and maintain our humanity under fluorescent office lights.

Then we step out of the cubicle and into the heart of conflict in relationships, where voices might rise, silence may fall, and understanding each other becomes an art form. We examine how upbringing shapes our battle strategies during spats and the fine line between a healthy debate and a full-scale argument when it comes to polarizing topics like politics or religion. Sure, we can't promise to solve every relationship riddle, but we're shedding light on the complex dance of communication—with a side note on the minor tragedies of fashion missteps, like the dreaded barrel leg jean debacle. Join us for a candid blend of laughter, lessons, and what is up with Spring fashion?

Make sure to subscribe to our channel, comment, like, and share!

Amy, Kitty & Stacey

P.S. Isn't our intro music great?! Yah, we think so too. Thank you, Ivy States for "I Got That Wow".

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:00

All right, whoo, look, I got that. Wow, who wants some heads up right now? We got that. Turn it up loud. I know you're wondering how I got that. Wow, here I go, here I go, coming. I can't ever stop. I'm a tour de force running. Give me to the top, I don't need an invitation.

Speaker 2: 0:24

Hello, hello, hello everyone, and welcome to another episode of Three Cocktails In. You've got the Three Cocktails right here. Hi ladies, hello, hi. So good to see you all here again. Thank you, your guys is going well. There are big happenings right now in Stacey's world.

Speaker 3: 0:47

Big we're getting close yeah.

Speaker 4: 0:51

Baby watch.

Speaker 3: 0:52

Yeah, baby watch. Oh my gosh Grandson number one. Let's see it's getting close.

Speaker 2: 1:00

That's super exciting, exciting. It is exciting. All right, so it is, yeah, keep us updated. And actually, by the time this episode drops, he will have his entrance, so we will be sure to update you. Yeah, update you next week, that is correct.

Speaker 4: 1:18

Yeah, oh my gosh. So March Madness sort of thing, we should have done a pool. Yeah, what time will the baby deliver and how much will the baby weigh?

Speaker 3: 1:32

And how long? Yes, we have a family, one that has quite a few people. So, this totally. I've been wrong. Yeah, I've been wrong on the sex and the day. You know if today or tomorrow is the day, I'm not even close.

Speaker 2: 1:49

Okay. So when you messaged this morning and said that she was going to be induced, I'm like wait a minute. So how much early? Yeah, two weeks, two weeks.

Speaker 3: 2:01

Okay.

Speaker 4: 2:02

Two weeks.

Speaker 2: 2:02

All right?

Speaker 4: 2:04

Well, we are three of mine were two weeks early, yeah.

Speaker 3: 2:08

Yeah, I picked. Mine were all later on, later on time.

Speaker 2: 2:12

So yeah, cool, well, awesome. I'm glad you're hearing more About that. So you guys, I have been thinking so much about our conversation last week with Shannon Wasn't she good? He was so good and I've been telling all of my friends about her. She's probably hopefully she's gotten a whole bunch of new Instagram followers In the last week and she'll get more. So, for those of you listening or watching, if you didn't Tune into last week's episode and I'm going to be sure that you do go back and catch that one we talked with Shannon, who is an amazing coach. How did she describe herself? Again, a transition, transitions coach? Yep, yeah, and particularly dealing with the messy middles, which I think is such a cool way to talk about those. You know the issues between phases of our lives where you just need somebody to kind of help coach you through the thought process and action moves as well.

Speaker 4: 3:23

Yes, yes, well, I got my contract from her. I'm committing to this so I can provide updates as we go. I'm really interested in learning to sit with ease For Shannon. She's really I don't know, maybe I'll be a test case or something, right?

Speaker 3: 3:46

Right, you might be a good challenge.

Speaker 2: 3:51

Yeah, any idea what she's getting herself into?

Speaker 4: 3:56

Oh, she can do it. Anybody can fix me. It can be Shannon.

Speaker 3: 4:02

I think that's not how we're supposed to think about that? I agree, after the you know couple of weeks here I've had, I really need to consider it, just based on you know some work issues and just you know what I mean, just like messy messy stuff. You know, how I should be processing it honestly, you know what I mean.

Speaker 4: 4:28

Yeah, that kind of ties in what we're talking about today. That's what we're going to talk about today?

Speaker 2: 4:35

Yeah, and so again, listeners and viewers, the way that we pick our topics for these conversations, it literally is what is going on right now in our lives. So the three of us are always chatting, we have a little group chat and we're always, you know, here's what's going on, here's what's going on, and then, all of a sudden, somebody will say that's our next topic, that's it we need to talk about. So we're going to talk about these. You know the trials and tribulations that we have in our in our personal lives and in our work lives, and how do we manage the emotions that come with this shit that, oh yeah, find ourselves in the middle of from time to time? What's going on?

Speaker 4: 5:24

I'm just going to say that I have two different pools of reactions. I have the family, personal life reaction, and then I have the professional reaction and the filter that I have to turn on in my professional world is so tight Because when I get blindsided by something or something really pisses me off, it's not pretty. I fully admit I come from a family of Yellers and it's not always directed at somebody, but there's a lot of, there's a lot of big emotions and instantaneous, you know that sort of thing and it comes out. And then, seeing that I can't do that at work, I'm a crier and there is nothing worse than getting so frustrated that you, you can feel the tears coming at work. Yeah, yeah, that's not good.

Speaker 2: 6:31

I have the same reaction. When I get really, really angry about something. It comes out in tears, and what I hate about that is that I feel like it looks like a weakness. Right, I'm not crying because I'm sad or I'm like I didn't get my way, you know anything like that the tear. I have the same reaction, amy, when I get really angry. That's how it comes out, and I used to work with a woman who she, if she ever saw another woman cry at work, she would be like don't you, you do not cry at work. That is weakness she was. She felt that I'm not scary, yeah, little bit yeah.

Speaker 3: 7:16

So that's probably me. I don't tell people. I mean I would tell you don't cry. I would say that. But I don't go after somebody and say don't do it. But you know, just because for me I I'm not a crier anyway you know it has to be pretty sad and pretty. You know what I mean, the usual sad stuff. I think it's just like Amy said, it's anger and that's the part that even like you say, at work it's different. For me it isn't necessarily. You know I'm going to come off right away as being very PO'd, you know. And it's not all and it's hard to explain because it's usually that I can't process it fast enough. You know what I mean. I think I look really pissed. You know what I mean. When I'm doing the wheels are just turning like I'm trying to figure it out and I'm probably saying stuff I don't mean you know, or don't mean to say out loud, you know. You know what I mean. Am I explaining that at all?

Speaker 2: 8:28

So what you're saying is that it's easy for people to know when you're pissed, because of your body language, your facial expression, and you probably do let a few things come out in the Absolutely.

Speaker 3: 8:42

Yeah, and I don't even know if all of the time I really end up being mad. It's just. You know, for me it's a. I want it to go a certain way. I've planned it. You know, not that it's perfect, but any little you know, any little big, you know change that comes at you. You know things that just go downhill fast. I'm trying to figure out my reaction. You know what I mean. So it probably looks like I'm you know and you know I just feel like it takes me longer to figure out what my reaction should be. It may not be Totally PO, I'm just trying to work through it.

Speaker 2: 9:32

Yeah. Do you wish that that wasn't your response, or Are you okay with it? You just like this is just how. This is just how I am.

Speaker 3: 9:47

Yeah, I mean, nobody wants to be thought of as the you know mean old witch. You know what I mean. But I, but I also will not cry, I also will not. There's only been one time I cried out was you know? A logical time is after you know, the day after my boss died. We kind of had a zoom and it's just everybody, was you know.

Speaker 4: 10:09

Okay, I'm gonna call you out on saying the logical time. Well, because it was a sad, a sad. So Sad is logical, but crying for any other reason is not. Yes, that's why is one emotion is it okay to cry, and another emotion it's not okay to cry.

Speaker 1: 10:35

Emotions emotion.

Speaker 4: 10:37

Yeah, yeah, I don't know if I have an answer to that, I'm just. I'm just throwing it out there because I find that very interesting.

Speaker 3: 10:44

Yeah, yeah, I don't know. For me that's that's. You know, maybe that didn't come out right. That that's a time I just feel like you know, sad things are different than angry things, and for me, angry doesn't come across as teary, and you know what I mean.

Speaker 4: 11:04

I Will say that, um no, it's really to me why you guys do.

Speaker 3: 11:11

I mean, why does that you know? Do you know why it does come out as that Is it?

Speaker 4: 11:18

frustration. Oh, it's frustrating for me. It's frustration, it's, it's. I'm usually where I get really angry is because the situation is something that could have been avoided and Somewhere along the line, in spite of my best efforts, it's gotten fucked up somewhere and I can't call somebody out on it because that's not good. I can't fix it and I've. And now it's up to somebody else and and all I want to do is I Don't want to pitch a fit, but I want to pitch a fit. I want to say how in that we can. Hell has it gotten to this point? Why are we dealing with this now? Who dropped the ball? You know, none of these things help, because the situation is what it is and you have to move forward and address it. But that's how I react when shit goes south. It's like are you fucking kidding me? Are you kidding me? Are you kidding? Because I can't say any of that. I just feel it like welling up inside me and the little itty-bitty tears come out instead of bad words.

Speaker 3: 12:39

So and so maybe that's better. Yeah, maybe that's better, and we need to get over this stigma of crying at work. Is that what we're saying? You know that that's a better reaction. You know, because what are the other choices?

Speaker 2: 12:53

You know, I mean well, I will say this, that I it's. The only time that I cried at my current company was on a day that I just felt there was so much going on in the world that was awful. Okay, with all of that, with the war and all of the horrible things that have been happening in this last year worldwide, there was a day that the news hit me hard and then I ended up sitting down with my boss to have a conversation about something else and I was completely overcome by the emotion and and I cried. So that's different. I wasn't crying because I was angry about something that happened at work. I'm saying this to to say that in recent years I would say in the last three to five years I manage it so much better that I don't let things that happen, things that go wrong at work. Let's just isolate work. Right now I manage it so much better than I used to.

Speaker 2: 14:15

And when I was preparing for this conversation today, I at first was thinking you know, as I've matured. But I don't want to say that because I don't want that to come across as well. You know I, I'm more mature now, so I don't let those things bother me. That's not, that's what I'm saying, um, but I do have a better ability to not get riled up about them and just look at it rationally. Um, and I, I don't know, I don't do deep breathing, you know. You know there's no specific method that I've all of a sudden started doing to, but but I have found that in these last like three to five years, I just look at it and I'm like all right, okay, let's sit down, talk about it, figure out what our solution is going to be.

Speaker 4: 15:06

Yeah.

Speaker 2: 15:07

I would like to qualify.

Speaker 4: 15:09

Yeah, you know, in real estate I'm not often in front of people. When I figure out something's gone to shit, um, I I currently I'm in a model home by myself, primarily where I'm working. That's my office. So when I, when I do hear things that have gone, you know, bananas, I'm I'm not reacting in front of anybody. I am very good at keeping the poker face on If, if I have a client or a buyer there, if in and real estate is a little salty, I will say that people who get into real estate majority of the people that I've met they got some salty language, that that flows when, when it's just us sort of thing. And maybe it's because there is a lot of frustration involved in a lot of um, you know, if you're selling used homes, you might you work a lot with somebody to get one sale and it might take a super long time. So there is a frustration level. So in that instance I know where the boundaries are.

Speaker 4: 16:25

But I had a horrible day last week and on top of it I had a migraine and something happened that in my opinion, should have been way on somebody's radar. That's not part of the company I work for, it's company adjacent, but it caused a massive domino effect and I had a whole bunch of stuff that just had to get redone and we couldn't we, we couldn't fix any of it until this adjacent company did and I I, fortunately was by myself that day and I felt sick to my stomach about everything that could have been affected, because even at that point I didn't know how far it was going to go and it didn't feel good and thank God nobody was there because I just put my head down and the tears came. I was just like I cannot believe this is happening, sort of deal. So I don't cry so much, but I think, kitty, you hit on something and I'm not there yet. Maybe I, maybe I, maybe. It's just not part of me.

Speaker 4: 17:35

I know that I need to be to have this division between work. You know work is work. It's not. Fortunately, my work is not heart transplants and you know I'm very fortunate in that the people that are buying homes and moving in are not going to be homeless if something goes crazy. You know, I mean there can be some pretty big financial burdens if things can't happen as they're planned out. Yeah, cause they might, you know, for instance, close on one house and can't get into the next one, where? Where do you do with your stuff and your movers and you know whatever? But that is something that has always I've always had a problem. And not having this, this line between what I, what I can control, or what what work is. Am I explaining that? Do you know what I mean? That I don't separate myself from work.

Speaker 3: 18:42

Yeah, yeah, yeah, very well, yeah, well, when you think about it, we spend an awful lot of time at work, you know, compared to home. So you know it becomes. It becomes, you know, a big, huge part of your life. So obviously you're, you know, I think, things at home drag into work and work obviously goes home with you. So I think that's normal for most people.

Speaker 4: 19:13

And Stacey you. You had a pretty big frustration happen last week yeah, my network and at home, and at home. You had a couple different, a couple different reactions.

Speaker 3: 19:25

Yes, All of it piled at the same time was interesting. You know I've talked about how awesome my little four person team is and that kind of got shuffled all of a sudden.

Speaker 3: 19:40

So I'm I'm having a yeah, I'm having a hard time with you know this, this was the plan and you know even the future plan is getting a little messy. And you know it's that same thing we talked about so early in the podcast expectation what we. You know how we planned for it and what our expectation was. And now again it's getting a little messed around. So, and like I said, just frustrating that's it. And then you pile on top of a, you know, goofy I'm going to call it dumb thing Thing my husband did, who he doesn't think it's dumb. I think it's dumb, right, so typical and it is. It is dumb, but I was P owed, I will let you know I was P owed and it took me a while to get over it. So it's just that kind of stuff where you have all of this, you know, going on at the same time can be can be hard, hard to deal with all at the same time.

Speaker 2: 20:49

Yeah, so you have we, we have to be able to, in those moments, just stop and it's like let things around you just, or remove yourself from all of those things around you, and one of the things that I do is that I will just, I will go to a quiet place, I will make sure that I'm by myself. I don't want, I don't want, I can't hear anything, I don't want the TV and I don't want music on nothing, and I just need to sit quietly and close my eyes. I don't meditate, I don't know. I mean, all of that would be a really good thing, but I just remind myself to just stop and wanted something that an old pastor of mine used to always say, and I love the phrase. He would say listen for the quiet, and I love that. So that is, that is one thing that I do. In those moments there's just too much shit, too much chaos going around us. Just stop and let yourself just be quiet for a little bit.

Speaker 3: 22:02

I caught a little short clip of Mel Robbins this week that you know a little different topic, but it was about happiness. Happiness is the little things. So you find you're happy in. You know what a nice day it is when you wake up and you know for the coffee drinkers you're nice. You know you're nice. Cup of coffee in the morning makes you feel happy. And you know just little things along your day. And you know trying to tune out all the negative stuff and focus inward on your you know the good stuff of the day.

Speaker 2: 22:42

Yeah, and sometimes that's easier said than done. For sure, for sure, I started having we've. You know things aren't well. I'm just gonna say things aren't always rosy. You guys know I love my job, I work for a really great company, but things aren't rosy every day and we can say that across the board. We see rosy on social media all the time. Okay, so on Sunday this week, this past week, I started not looking forward to Monday morning and it came out in the form of a full, well no, crash all over my neck and my chest. Well, massive welts, oh my gosh.

Speaker 2: 23:37

And that wasn't a moment where I could just say, okay, I just, I just need to be quiet for a little bit. I was having a physical crash, yeah.

Speaker 3: 23:45

Yeah, why it wasn't going to fix it?

Speaker 2: 23:49

No, why, it wasn't going to fix it. So it's like it can come out in physical ways as well, and it's so then. All right, I'm more in a turn of the neck to work the next day, right? I don't want my boss to see this Like what's what does she have.

Speaker 4: 24:10

Yeah, that's good. So in that case, if we're on a scale between swearing, tears and hives, I'm gonna say swearing and tears might be the better alternative.

Speaker 3: 24:23

I think so.

Speaker 4: 24:24

Yeah, hives would be at the low end of that one, maybe that's. Maybe that should you know how you have safe words or people have safe words and stuff. Maybe that should be code for like your friends, how you do under your you know your co-worker at work and and you're like, is it? Is it swearing or hives today?

Speaker 3: 24:42

Yeah, because yeah about tears Somewhere between you know swearing and tears the next thing you think yeah, I have hives, you know but you know it's that bad.

Speaker 4: 24:53

When somebody says I need to tell you something, you can say wait, is this going to induce swearing tears or hives, because I'm going to need a minute. I'd like you to save it. I'd like you to say it from the doorway and then step back quickly.

Speaker 2: 25:09

Shut the door on the way out. Yeah, oh, shoot.

Speaker 4: 25:14

You want to do it at home. No-transcript. I mean, all of us now are we're dealing with adults. Kitty, you still have Bo at home, so you know he's a child. I mean, children are always our children, regardless of age. Okay, so we might approach them a little differently. What do you do with that partner that has just stepped in it back to the dump truck up and dumped a whole pile of crap at your feet?

Speaker 3: 25:49

Yeah, yeah, it's hard, that's for sure.

Speaker 2: 25:59

I don't have a lot to offer on this particular topic.

Speaker 3: 26:03

I don't either, I don't either, I think, don't you think everyone is different and you just deal differently? That makes no sense. But you know what I mean. You know how the two of you react to things. I would say, my husband, just he backs away and just lets me go at it, which is almost as frustrating, because then he won't say anything, he won't engage. No, Nope.

Speaker 2: 26:41

I don't have anything to offer because Bill and I don't disagree on much and we really don't fight. We never have. We don't agree on everything, but there's never been something that he's done that has sent me off the deep end. It's just we don't have that. We don't have that Now. Oh yes, of course there are things that, yes, he's 22 years old and shares a house with us. I'm just gonna say he's not a very good roommate. He really isn't. So we deal with those sorts of things.

Speaker 2: 27:26

And I am also a yeller. I always have been. When I was growing up, if you ask my parents when I was growing up, I don't think I was a yeller then, but I was a door slammer and then, as I grew up and became a mother, that ended up in the form of yelling. So it's frustrating when you're trying to get through to someone here at home. So I'll just use that dynamic between parent and child trying to get some logic through and they don't have any time for it. They're not gonna listen because they know everything. And I get louder and louder, and louder and then they do the exact same thing. I think that's probably pretty normal.

Speaker 4: 28:13

Yeah, I do. You know, I don't know if I I might have said this in the beginning, but I grew up in a family that yelled. My mom and dad yelled and fought and it wasn't pretty, but it was instantaneous. They got it off their chest and an hour later they'd look at each other and be like, oh okay, so do you wanna go get something for dinner or you wanna go golf? I mean, it was just like this. There was no pent-up animosity, that just there was.

Speaker 4: 28:46

My household did not have the long, slow burning fuse. It was we're pissed, we're going at it, it's over, it's done. We've said what we needed to say. There's some sort of acknowledgement on both parties' sides and an hour later, okay, let's, now it's like it's all better. I'm not saying that's healthy, I'm not saying it's healthy, I acknowledge it. And I do try and bring it up, especially now as I am dating different people.

Speaker 4: 29:17

You know how do you resolve conflict is a great question. What kind of household did you grow up in? You know what happens. How do you deal with these things? And I have two situate, two not situations. I had two occurrences with two different guys where we started talking about something and I knew it wasn't gonna go well. We had clearly, clearly opposing views One was religion, one was politics and so my answer to that was, in the spirit of trying to be I don't wanna, I'd love to say I was open-minded, but on those two things I'm not super open-minded. But what I've come to realize is, you know, if we don't have to talk about this one issue, and if we could both acknowledge that we're just not gonna talk about this, it just doesn't have to be a thing I can be good with this.

Speaker 2: 30:24

Those are pretty big things. So big things though.

Speaker 4: 30:27

But you don't sit around and talk about religion If both of us have similar morals, you know, and we're kind to people. You know, if our approach to life is the same, to me it doesn't matter if somebody believes X, y, z, and I believe ABC. If the end result is living the same way, okay, yeah, the other one was politics, which for me is a huge thing. I'm trying to not be that way about it but, like so many people now, it's very polarizing. But I said this to this person and I said I don't think this is gonna work. This is not gonna really work for me. I don't wanna have these conversations.

Speaker 4: 31:30

And it turned into him continuing to explain his position and continuing to question me and question me and question me, and I kept saying I don't wanna talk about this, I don't wanna talk about this. I've been very clear. I don't wanna talk about this. Well, I mean, it's fine, we can each believe what we wanna believe, but don't you think no, no, no, no, and I am out. That one. I was like okay, and in both of those situations, after a couple of instances where it came back again, I just said I'm not for you. I am not for you If you need to find somebody who believes as you do, because clearly this is something you want to talk about and I don't. Yeah, I mean, I do wanna talk about him, if we agree.

Speaker 1: 32:30

I don't wanna talk about this.

Speaker 3: 32:31

A future fight, forever, you know yeah.

Speaker 4: 32:36

So yeah, I don't know Mind boggling.

Speaker 2: 32:42

That is a really good question. As you're dating, how do you deal with conflict? I think that is a good conversation to go out, and I mean, as you're getting to know people, you don't know if they're telling you the truth. You won't really know until you actually have a conflict and you then experience truly how they deal with conflict. But knowing that you grew up in a household where your parents yelled and fought, I would hope that you don't look at that and think that that's normal, because, no, I don't, no, okay, because I'm not proud of when I have yelled at Bo. As parents, we don't know what we're doing when we're raising our kids. There's no freaking manual and if I could go back and do one thing over again, that would be it that I would have taught myself to with all of the stuff that we went through with Bo and maybe we'll get into that on a future episode yelling at him was not the right way to raise him.

Speaker 1: 33:52

It wasn't.

Speaker 2: 33:53

And I wish that I could go back and do that over again. I would say nobody should yell at anybody. Yeah, and we're circling back to the beginning.

Speaker 3: 34:08

Yeah, that's exactly. We're circling back to the beginning on how that goes. And when you get so frustrated and so upset, for some people that's what happens, and I admire the people that can just pause and not react that way. But at the same time, you know you also don't want to just hold it in and then it's, you know, your your thing to deal with alone. That's not. That's probably not right either.

Speaker 4: 34:48

No, you have to deal with it. I would go so far as to say how you parent is different than frustration with an adult. Who should the two, especially an adult in a relationship that you're with, where you would expect that there is commonality and being on the same page and you know these things, and then they do something you know? Or or you know vice versa. You know I'm not saying I mean I'm.

Speaker 4: 35:23

I know for a fact that I did things like bring home a cat one Christmas to give the girls for a Christmas present. I told him I was going to do it and he was not happy and I did it anyway, which then came back to bite me in the ass when he brought home the lab, the lab puppy. Now I claim that that is. He said that that was the same. I'm going to say no, because cats, cats are cats. Yeah, and I was at home, they just I was the one in charge of taking care of all of it. So I knew the cat was going to be my responsibility. But he brought that puppy home after we already had a dog, a cat and three kids and that was my responsibility.

Speaker 4: 36:04

But you know we, we joked about it later, but you're right, you don't want you. I don't think you should have to suck it up. Maybe you got to suck it up in the moment, but it there's that experience of I'm not heard unless I get loud. I'm not, you know. I mean and that was I'm hoping to to weed out that In in somebody can we have discussions without having to be loud? But if I am loud, can, can you just take it as she? Yeah, that that pot on the on the stove just needed to get that steam out of the. You know the lid was wiggling and the steam had to go and then then I'll be fine, take the lid off and everything's.

Speaker 3: 37:00

You know better vent, vent for a minute and let it go, and then you can just, you know, and I think that helps even internally you let's spill it all and then it make it does make you kind of feel better.

Speaker 4: 37:16

Yeah, I did have one, one guy that I was talking to who did say to me I'm willing to talk about anything you want to talk about, but please don't yell at me, oh, and I was like okay, that's awesome to meet somebody who's very clear. Yeah, On this, is this, is this is a deal breaker for me. I, I will not engage once once it becomes yelling.

Speaker 2: 37:47

Yeah. Good for him for, for for stating that yeah, and for knowing and for knowing how we was.

Speaker 3: 37:57

how he's going to deal with things.

Speaker 4: 37:59

So maybe my comment to these new people that I meet is hey, just to let you know I may go with you. I may go off for about three to five minutes and then I'll settle down and be very receptive to having a conversation.

Speaker 1: 38:14

Like a pre-warning.

Speaker 4: 38:15

Just let me go, and then I'll come back.

Speaker 2: 38:20

Well, I think that's, and I think that that is normal. It's the emotion I mean there's, there's the. The science of the brain comes into play here. And I this was a lot of what I learned when Bo was younger and and we were learning how to parent with, with his situation. And you know, the doctor said to me when, when there's an emotional reaction, when it's fight or flight, what you know, whatever that is and you are angry, the this hormone comes up over and it saturates your brain and in that moment there is nothing that anybody else can say to you that will get through. You have to wait until that hormone subsides and then you become rational again and now you can have a conversation. So that was one thing that we had to learn here. When, when things escalated with Bo, we had to walk away. We couldn't do this. We had to back up, we had to let him cool down and then we could actually have a rational conversation with him. And this is the same thing that you're describing, amy.

Speaker 4: 39:32

Yeah, oh yeah, so I'd be. I'd be really curious to know. We have some listeners who are. They work in the corporate world. We have listeners that are teachers. We have listeners. I can't even imagine how teachers keep their shit together all day. I love teachers and I love kids. You know people who have children, who are roommates or have grandchildren who now I think grandchildren are. I don't know. I'm hoping they're going to be easy and lovely, but maybe it looks you.

Speaker 4: 40:12

How do they not become? You know your second kids? Yeah, you know your kid once removed. Sorry, sorry thing, I think that would be a hard.

Speaker 3: 40:25

That would be a hard situation just because I you know, everybody's grandparents is, you know, the nicest person. You know you don't think of your parents as that, but your kids think your, your parents, are that. You know what I mean.

Speaker 1: 40:40

So you're going to be hard.

Speaker 3: 40:45

Yes, pretty soon yeah.

Speaker 2: 40:47

Yeah, my gosh. Well, I have a feeling that we will talk more about this as we, as we go on. And, yeah, as Amy said, if those of you who are listening or watching, if you've got input here, drop a comment, drop us a message. We always love to hear from you, love to hear from your experiences as well. Right, yes, yeah, for sure, with that Stacey, I think you need to go check in, I know.

Speaker 3: 41:20

I left my phone in the other room, just so. I wouldn't be. Yeah, just so I wouldn't be checking it and look at you. Know, looking at it, it'll be fine.

Speaker 2: 41:29

Yeah.

Speaker 4: 41:30

Yeah.

Speaker 4: 41:31

Well, hey, I have a shot, I have a shot in the future and a future topic that I hope comes up shortly. I've been doing. You know it's beautiful weather here in Minnesota it's 50, some degrees in early March and so I've been keeping my eye on some spring clothing, getting ready to buy things. I got a whole lot of what the hell is going on. Okay, I'm hoping everybody could take a look around them, take a look in the stores, you know, and I think we need to talk about what is happening on the spring fashion. And I know we said we can wear whatever we want and get loud as we get older, but some of this stuff somebody needs to put a lid on it, push it to the back of the closet. This stuff just is not going to fly for me.

Speaker 2: 42:21

Where the hell did the barrel leg jeans come from? And why?

Speaker 4: 42:29

Why are we putting square pockets on the front of our jeans? Put a fucking bullseye on yourself right there, I mean what are?

Speaker 3: 42:38

Yeah, take a look right there. That's what we want to do, yeah.

Speaker 2: 42:43

Yeah, no, I mean, does this make my butt look big? Yes, it does.

Speaker 4: 42:50

Yes, it will. It might as well be say this makes my butt look big, no question needed.

Speaker 3: 42:55

I feel like barrel leg jeans just can make you look big all the way down yeah.

Speaker 2: 43:00

And for those of us who are height challenged, it's not an option at all.

Speaker 3: 43:06

You'd be dragging your big you know big legged jeans, oh funny.

Speaker 2: 43:12

All right, we can dig into that topic.

Speaker 4: 43:15

Yeah, so we're so something in a magazine or a flyer that's just out there. You know who to be making comments to, because we'll investigate and we're going to bring it to the forefront so that nobody has to go out and have tears when people look at them and go what the hell are you wearing? And let's prevent hives. People Don't make the mistake. We're here to help you.

Speaker 1: 43:39

Yeah.

Speaker 3: 43:39

Yeah Well get well, kitty. I hope you get rid of your hives.

Speaker 2: 43:43

Yeah, I'm going to go pop a Benadryl and we will see you all next week. Everybody, have a good week, so good to see you. Bye Cheers, bye guys, bye.

Speaker 1: 44:00

All right, bye.