Heartwarming Tales of Endurance, Community, and the Art of Friendship

Ever found yourself shivering through a winter day, wishing for warmth and company? We've all been there, and this episode wraps you up in tales of personal endurance, like Amy's gloveless venture into the cold, and stirs in a discussion about our evening libations— from the sleep-disturbing effects of a glass of wine to the cozy embrace of a caffeine-free soda. As the conversation flows, we touch upon the bittersweet notes of building community in the face of life’s upheavals, such as moves and divorces, and how these experiences redefine our sense of belonging.

Taking the first step towards friendship can feel like a leap into the unknown, but it's often the bridge to long-lasting connections. We recount the story of how a simple invitation turned into a friendship cornerstone, echoing the experiences of others who've transformed loneliness into thriving social landscapes. We celebrate these victories over isolation, taking cues from a Londoner whose small gathering bloomed into a bustling community and a woman who spun exclusion into an inclusive online haven. Their stories inspire us to pursue the warmth of new relationships, just as we seek refuge from the chill.

As we bundle up the episode, we shed light on the silver linings of the pandemic— a newfound openness in discussing mental health and tackling the sting of loneliness which, as research suggests, can be as harmful as heavy smoking. We share strategies for networking that include finding the solo attendees who might be looking for company and the benefits of cultivating work friendships to enliven professional life and ward off burnout.  Join our vibrant Facebook community for ongoing discussions on the art of friendship at any stage in life, and let's continue to weave the fabric of community together, one shared story at a time.

Make sure to subscribe to our channel, comment, like, and share!

Amy, Kitty & Stacey

P.S. Isn't our intro music great?! Yah, we think so too. Thank you, Ivy States for "I Got That Wow".

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:04

I got that. Wow, who wants some heads up right now? We got that. Turn it up loud. I know you're wondering how I got that. Wow, here I go. Here I go, coming. I can never stop. I'm a tour the force running. Give me to the top, I don't need an invitation hello hi.

Speaker 2: 0:27

How are y'all doing?

Speaker 4: 0:30

well, excellent.

Speaker 3: 0:32

Have you had a nice week okay very good week staying warm, yeah good week, but yeah, it's been cold.

Speaker 4: 0:42

It's been cold, all right let's see if we could maybe take our week up a notch and get a good conversation going with my friends from three cocktails in. I have not moderated in a while, so forgive me if I'm out of practice, but it's lovely to see you. I'm here with Kitty and Stacy and we are coming out of the deep freeze of Minnesota it was 23 today and I didn't wear gloves whoo right, yeah, I think it's gonna be.

Speaker 2: 1:17

I think it's gonna be warm this week yeah, I'm super excited.

Speaker 4: 1:22

I wore that huge heavy coat that I bought and I felt like I was walking along in a, an insulated stadium blanket. I'm sure I look like Randy from you remember the little kid from Christmas story. That's how I thought yeah, I'm wearing a comforter, but it worked.

Speaker 2: 1:40

So yes, yeah, well, and when? When we say warm, we're talking in the 30s yeah, yeah, but in January that warm people will be wearing shorts around here, yeah there's always somebody.

Speaker 4: 1:56

Yeah, there is right. So what's everybody drinking? I'm hydrating, hydrating. Stacy's not hydrating.

Speaker 3: 2:05

I'm not. No, I have my Pinot Grigio today in my three cocktails in wine glass nice.

Speaker 4: 2:13

I am drinking a very full yeti full of caffeine free Diet Coke for two reasons. One, I had a little extra glass of red wine last night extra and I have a super early meeting tomorrow that I got to be down in in down south for. So I got a very long day tomorrow and I cannot be waking up between one and three in the morning which is what I'm discovering happens when I have the wine before bed. So that's.

Speaker 2: 2:46

It's one of the reasons why and so I'm trying to remember now roughly the time frame on this when it started to really affect me if I had, you know, more than a couple glasses of wine over the course of you know, over the course of an evening, I would, I just would not sleep well at all, and it was particularly red wine. So I stopped drinking red wine years ago. But then I noticed the same thing happening with the white wine. It's all the sugar and I and I just I love to have a good cold, crispy glass of wine once in a while, but I just don't feel good afterward and I've decided it's not worth it so what I'm hearing from this is I shouldn't drink wine before bed.

Speaker 2: 3:33

I should go with vodka, gin well, if that's what you're hearing, I guess oh, you guys, this is just been.

Speaker 4: 3:45

It's been a month and we joke about stuff like this. We drink responsibly 99.7% of the time yeah right, well, I'll test your theory.

Speaker 3: 3:57

I haven't noticed that it ever makes a difference for me, so all right okay, you figured out for us.

Speaker 4: 4:04

So I wanted to talk about something else. This week that is really kind of hit home, probably because it has been so freezing as cold out, and that's this idea of community, loneliness, groups of friends, and for many of us, I'm guessing it's the same super down south, when it's 110 degrees and you never leave your house either. But I've been in my house, as probably all of us have, for weeks, weeks. It's too cold to go anywhere. You know, for me I like to walk to these different places, but it's got me thinking about this kind of feeling of loneliness.

Speaker 4: 4:48

And now I live by myself, I go to work and and most days I see somebody. Somebody comes in to talk to me. There are some days where nobody comes in, especially when it's like 12 below. People are not coming in to look for a new home, and I'm finding that my community and I don't mean friends, I have friends, you guys are friends, I have some other friends, but that group of people that we used to do things with I used to do that has changed, and not because of the, because of the divorce, although that's one part of it, but I started to notice that, you know a number of years ago, and it's a little bit harder now. I haven't replaced. I haven't replaced that, that sense of community, and I'm really it to be an issue, you know, this time of the year yeah, well, you picked up and moved right.

Speaker 1: 5:57

So there's that. Yeah, I did, yes, I did.

Speaker 2: 6:00

Yeah, moved into a whole new Neighborhood Neighborhood physical community. So you've been in the mode of meeting people there and I would assume that you moved into a place where the people who are there have been there for a while. They've got their communities built already and sometimes it's not easy to Look at it from both sides. I ask myself to how welcoming am I to new people? So how welcoming have people been to you, amy, in your new condo building, in your new work?

Speaker 4: 6:46

My condo building. I tell you I have more conversations with the guys in the parking booth. Jared's my guy. Every time I see him we have great conversations. I mean I could be his mom and he's just so delightful and we talk about all sorts of stuff. I have had maybe two conversations with neighbors, people in my building, and I've lived here over two years.

Speaker 2: 7:12

Yeah, that's weird, that is weird.

Speaker 4: 7:15

Now I don't always go to like they're starting this community game night sort of thing. My schedule doesn't work out where I can get in there, although I suppose I could come late, but then the game's already half done or whatever. So that's a little interesting. But I think even before I did move, I was noticing that what my community, my group of people was and I'm using community lightly, I don't mean I mean like the neighborhood group or the people that we hung out with on weekends in larger groups that we would they all had something to do with sports and the kids. Yeah, all of it did.

Speaker 3: 8:04

I think when our kids graduated from high school, every time that was a you know, and of hanging out with a certain group that you spend a lot of time at school, functions and that kind of thing with, and it was hard to and it's always hard to, you know, find reasons to hang out with those same you know people, so that's definitely an end. You may make really good friends with some of them, but then it takes real, you know, really trying to get together. Yeah, yeah, effort really.

Speaker 4: 8:59

Effort. Well, you guys, I don't know if anybody else saw it, but I posted that funny meme on Instagram that said it was like a mock headline that says in town, friends get together only when out of town friends shows up. And that is so true. That is us. There are four of us that live within half an hour of each other. We see each other when Stacy comes to town. Yeah, we might see each other, maybe individually, but as a group we don't. We don't see each other that often. So do you, stacy? You've probably. Stacy and Kitty both you guys have lived in your current neighborhood for a long time. Sure, do you find you're as active with neighbors, or is it your like? How do you feel? Like it go knock on somebody's door and say, hey, I really could use a cup of sugar, or you know what? I'm bored. What are you guys doing?

Speaker 2: 10:06

Well, I feel like I could do that with my, with people on the side of us and people on the side of us and maybe one in the cul-de-sac. I feel like I could do that, but the whole dynamic has changed because when all of us had little kids, we did do things together. There was a bonfire in somebody's backyard every weekend, there was an impromptu soccer game in between our yards, but then the kids grew up and moved away and so, as I think about, and some of the neighbors moved away. So I look at it as it's constantly evolving.

Speaker 1: 10:50

It's evolving.

Speaker 2: 10:52

Coming and going, coming and going, but I think that there will always be those people that will stick with you, and even if you don't talk to them every day or see them even once a month or once every six months, there are people that I think you develop a bond with that you could pick up the phone and call them and have a conversation like they'd never left, and so I love that. It doesn't solve for a physical loneliness that we might feel. We had neighbors who lived across the street. They had two boys. The younger one was very, very close friends with Bo and when they told us they were moving away I was angry. It made me mad. Like we're close friends, how could you? Why would you wanna live somewhere else?

Speaker 4: 11:51

You have brought up a couple of times that I now live the farthest away since 1986, or something like that.

Speaker 2: 11:59

Yeah, I wasn't happy with you either, Missy.

Speaker 4: 12:04

I do understand that.

Speaker 2: 12:07

But yes, I think it comes and goes and I do think that it becomes harder to make new friends as we go.

Speaker 4: 12:18

Well, that wasn't gonna be my next question, absolutely. So if you're hit with loneliness and I mean maybe you guys don't get that Do you search out new friends? Do you see somebody? I mean, that's how I met Trisha. We both, yes, we had kids, but we were both sitting by ourselves at the same place, week after week after week, and you know, I mean the kids weren't. I mean, it was a big lobby that we were sitting in. We finally said something.

Speaker 4: 12:59

I met one of my new friends by being down at a bar and she sat down a few chairs from me and I just I have enough of my mom in me that I talk to anybody and I made a comment about oh, you really increased the odds here of women at the bar. You know, thanks, whatever. And we just started talking. So are we besties? No, but anytime she's going somewhere downtown or I am, it's a text hey, I'm going there, you wanna meet me, and that's really nice. Yeah, you guys are running in the same circles you've been in for quite some time. Do you find yourself reaching out to other new people?

Speaker 3: 13:45

I did a little research on you know how you do this at an older age. You know, certainly you know for us, yes, we have some neighbors that we do things with, since we live on a lake not so much in the winter, more in the summer, when it's nice out and we go to do something or whatever.

Speaker 3: 14:06

You know, and a lot of our friends honestly, you know, between the two of us, even our couple friends are more long distance. You know what I mean. So we'll get together rarely, you know, doesn't happen very often. So, anyway, the piece of advice was don't be afraid to make the first move. So I think there was one point where it's like, yeah, we felt like we didn't have anybody you know close in proximity to do anything with. So we made the first move and we asked a couple over to dinner. I think that's what you do, you know, pick someone oh, it'd be, you know, fun to hang out with Make the first move. If it doesn't last, well, then you try again. And I think that can be the same for, you know, eat single people. Or just say you know women looking for girlfriends or men looking for guyfriends. You know, you, you might have to be the one that makes the first move, just like you did with Trisha, you know, say, hey, do you want to do? You want to go do something?

Speaker 4: 15:12

you know we went to the Burger King ball pit with all of our children, where one guard at the door so no, no kids could get out, while the other one got the food, sort of thing.

Speaker 3: 15:23

Yeah, but have the courage to make the move, because the other one you know, your other couple or your other, you know, just like you said, if you wouldn't have said anything to Trisha, she may have, you know, it just might have gone on like that and she would have never said anything, or maybe she would have you never know.

Speaker 4: 15:40

So I think that's a really good point. And you know, what made me start thinking about this a couple years ago and was, I read an article in the Washington Post about a young woman who moved to London I believe it was for her work. She was 22, she was super excited to be in this you know cosmopolitan city and go to theater and go out to pubs and go, you know, live this new life. And she got there and she found she was super lonely because it is, it was such a big community and she didn't feel comfortable going to those things on her own. So she made some sort of post in on like a Facebook group and started the London Lonely Girls Club saying hey, anybody else feeling a little lonely here, like to get together for for something? And like five women showed up and they all got along, five people that had never met each other. They all willingly said I'm lonely, I'm gonna go to this. One of them was like in the fashion industry and you know, around lots of people all the time, but the pace of her business was such that there wasn't a lot of socializing.

Speaker 4: 16:57

That group, within two years, has over 35,000 members 35,000 and the stats on it are kind of amazing. They range in age from like 20 to 78. Most of I think the average says they're like 28 to 32 or something like that. But I just think that's so wonderful. Talk about putting yourself out there. Yeah, um, studies also do show that when we are feeling lonely, truly lonely, the last thing we want to do is make that first move, because then you're having to admit to. Maybe. Maybe you're not admitting, but you're acknowledging I feel lonely and I would like a friend yeah, and that is.

Speaker 4: 17:50

I mean, I remember when the kids were little that it was so hard to explain that to them but, now at my age it does feel like I can say the words, but it also feels kind of like oh, you know, I'm here, you know there was another. There's another group again and it's young women I am just taking. So I get so much inspiration and energy from reading about these younger 20 something women. A horrible TikTok video went out. This guy was sitting next to a group of women who were planning like a birthday party and they waited for. They said and he was listening to them and he started recording them and then he posted it on TikTok. But these like four girls said well, let's plan this party when so-and-so is out of town, so we don't have to invite her. And he posted it and so-and-so heard it, looked at it and those were her friends and she found out and she went. She went on TikTok when she found out two weeks later and said that's me, I was the one that you guys excluded. And she got like instantly hundreds of outreach and people in New York decided to go meet at Central Park somewhere and hundreds of people showed up offering support.

Speaker 4: 19:13

And that group now, which is called no More Lonely Friends, has got it's a Facebook group. It's got groups all over the place and I just think that's so. You know, yes, it's not a face-to-face. I'm lonely, I'd like to be your friend, but you're putting yourself out there online, yeah, and people are commenting. I'm finding that the things that we talk about and, you know, on our Facebook page there, there are people out there that would love to have somebody to talk to. Yeah, for me, that was one of the big reasons that I wanted to do this podcast was that divorced women, you've moved because of a job transfer, you're a widow or guys, same thing. How do you start over? Where do you go?

Speaker 2: 20:03

how do you?

Speaker 2: 20:03

do it yeah well, acknowledging it and putting it out there is is one of the first steps, and the nice thing is that more people are talking about this, so people are realizing that they aren't alone in it. There are a lot of lonely people. Great, and and you know, I don't know if it kind of happened around the maybe I mean the pandemic did a lot it brought. Not all of it was bad, no, it brought a lot of stuff to the surface that all of a sudden made people comfortable talking about, and so I agree this is one of the good outcomes of it. People are are able to articulate these things.

Speaker 4: 20:53

Just put it out there you can't gloss over it when you're stuck in your house and you can't go do all the things that you do to keep yourself busy, you're faced with yep, you know, is this my best life? Am I? Am I happy and do I? How are my friends? Thank god we had, we figured out zoom and those bi-weekly yeah things.

Speaker 4: 21:15

Um, one of the one of the pieces of research I said I read was loneliness, depression. All of those hurt your body in the same way as smoking 15 cigarettes a day. That actually that chronic depression, loneliness, isolation, has the same physical effects on your body as being a, you know, a huge smoker, and you wouldn't think that, man, until you start to think about it sort of yeah yeah, um, wow.

Speaker 4: 21:51

So stacey says make the first move. Right, got any other ideas? Where do we go? Where do we find them? Where do we find what are good places?

Speaker 2: 22:01

one one thing that I do so for, for for my work. I've always done a lot of networking, so I try to go to at least one networking event a week, and I've done this for years, years and years and years. And that is not easy to walk into a room of business people, people that are all there, you know to network, but yet you see people gathering in little groups and so you walk people, that people that already know each other.

Speaker 3: 22:36

Yes, they already know each other uh-huh.

Speaker 2: 22:38

So you walk into a room and you feel like, am I the only person that doesn't know anybody here? Because everybody is talking to somebody and in some cases they're little groups and they look like they've known each other forever.

Speaker 2: 22:49

Well, that's my perception, in that in those moments that probably isn't true, but I always look for people who are standing they're not talking to anybody, and then I will go up to them and introduce myself and start a conversation uh and and I love how that person immediately you can see that they're a little bit anxious because they're standing, they're feeling self-conscious because everybody's talking to somebody except them and me, and then we start talking and then you can just kind of see them relax a little bit. Yeah, but so I would better always leave.

Speaker 3: 23:30

Yeah, I would better relieve that. Somebody's talking to them.

Speaker 2: 23:34

Yeah, somebody's talking to them yeah, and then I started a practice years ago that when I would meet people, particularly women, I would say if you ever see any interesting networking events, let me know and let's go together. I love having a wing woman, and that's what I call it and they're always like oh my God, that's a great idea, yes, and then they do. And so that's not that these people become we've I've not become friends like we are friends, but we are a. We are a community in that we will then see each other at a wide variety of networking events or we'll ping each other and we'll go together.

Speaker 4: 24:21

Well, I think that that you bring up something I hadn't thought about until right now this whole idea of having a variety of communities, communities. You know, your work community we were talking about this there was. You know how you get. You get focused on a thought and you watch a couple reels and then suddenly that's all that you see in your feed.

Speaker 4: 24:52

Something came up the other day and it was this man talking about work and people at work and how you need a work friend, and he was citing some studies that show that you can have the best job in the world. Oh, it was about burnout. I ignored the burnout part and went right to the friend part. You could have the best job in the world, but people will leave and feel burned out if they don't have one work friend. If you have one friend at work, a friend that you look forward to seeing, who sees things similar to you, who makes as much effort as you do, this doesn't have to mean your best friends, your work friends. You will put up with a less satisfactory job because of that friend.

Speaker 2: 25:41

I so believe that, yeah, absolutely. And when I think back at all of my moves, all of the companies that I've been with, there's always been somebody at each of those companies that I would call my friend. There. That made it better, yeah.

Speaker 4: 26:03

That made going there every day better. Stace. Do you have a work, friend?

Speaker 3: 26:07

Yes, I have a couple, and even within. Even a couple of them are long distance, if you can believe it, but we may talk on the phone once a week. That's nice to have. And even within our team my team specifically we all get along so well and that's new. We haven't had a team like that forever. But now that we do, two of our friends, they have a nice conversation that I'm friends with both of them and you know what I mean. So there's different. You know we talk to everyone.

Speaker 3: 26:50

It's not like we're you know, there's an odd man out, there's an odd man, there's not an odd man out, odd woman out, right. So that's been very nice and that's a team. In my opinion, a team wrecker is when you have that person that doesn't fit the team. Possibly you know what I mean and you know. And when you do find your perfect team, like we have at the moment, you know that it's just so much better. We all enjoy going in, we don't hate it, obviously and makes everything much better.

Speaker 4: 27:26

So yeah, Well, I've been with this company now just over six months and again I'm in sales. I'm in my own community but there are sales people that I you know kind of in my regional area that I rely on to ask questions and stuff, because there's just a lot of stuff you don't know. You can't be trained on every single little thing and we have sales meetings about every couple weeks and I just brought Kitty to our big casino night.

Speaker 4: 27:59

It was fun. It was fun, but I'm still looking for that work person. The people that I mean lots of people are very friendly and the ones that I've had most conversations with are women in their mid-20s, which you know. I think it's awesome, but again saw a funny cartoon that said, yeah, this is the problem with work. You know you love your 65-year-old work people, but now I'm going to a birthday party on a Saturday night over at. Perkins or something like that. You know.

Speaker 4: 28:33

It's like so, while I think about it, while I think it's awesome, I'm not sure they do, they do, they don't care, they don't care about that. But I think I would like to have that work, you know, and I wouldn't see them every day. It's just not how we're set up.

Speaker 2: 28:53

Right, but yeah, you'll find that friend at work.

Speaker 4: 28:58

It might take a while. Yeah, so one of the other one of the suggestions that I found was to become a regular somewhere.

Speaker 3: 29:10

I saw that same thing yeah.

Speaker 4: 29:13

So it doesn't just mean like norm from tears. I think that the example was a woman was a writer and she worked at home. She worked, you know, out of her own home and she was just blah, I think, just looking for a little inspiration. And she went over to her friends and she thought the friend was going to map out how she was going to conquer this next thing. And the friend looked at her and said, yeah, you need to go find some place to hang out, and no, one was like ah damn it, you know really Is that what it's got to be.

Speaker 4: 29:46

So she picked an ice cream place that was in her neighborhood and the idea was to kind of keep a similar schedule so that people come to recognize you there and then you start to exchange names and then other people who are in at that time. You know you want to find some place where somebody would miss you if you don't show up.

Speaker 2: 30:11

Yeah.

Speaker 4: 30:14

So that's kind of interesting and all you coffee drinkers have an advantage over me, the non-coffee drinker.

Speaker 3: 30:21

Blech. Yeah, that's what I was thinking Like. I would think Starbucks or somewhere like that scooters or whatever would be the perfect place. But you're right. What are you and I going to do at that? Just sit there and work and chitie.

Speaker 4: 30:35

I guess I can go Kitty, tell us all about go ahead.

Speaker 3: 30:38

Ice cream place is a good idea. However, I would eat ice cream every day, so that's not good.

Speaker 4: 30:46

I might as well go down the street to my favorite French bakery. Right, I'm going to go right every day I'm going to do that. Kitty tell us about your little coffee group that you used to vlog, to Talk about community I do?

Speaker 2: 30:59

Yes, and I'm missing that community now. So this started years ago. I would stop into my local caribou on my way to work, and this was back when I was up and out of my house by six am. Every morning I'd go down to caribou, I'd walk in and there was always a group of guys that were sitting in the front chair area and they were older guys and it started with just a hi, good morning. And then eventually it was maybe one of them would throw a question at me or something, and eventually one of them said why don't you sit down and talk with us? And it wasn't creepy at all. These were for, I'll just leave it at that. It wasn't creepy. So I sat down and we started to have a conversation. One of them was a retired CEO, one of them was a retired architect, one was a state legislator, one was an anesthesiologist.

Speaker 4: 32:07

Wasn't there a mayor? Former mayor.

Speaker 2: 32:12

No, not the mayor, but the state representative, state rep, yep so, and they would be there every morning Monday, tuesday, wednesday and Friday, not Thursday.

Speaker 4: 32:24

So I knew where they went on Thursday.

Speaker 2: 32:26

Well, on Thursday, I think it was Rotary on Thursday, so many of them were at Rotary and so they just didn't meet that morning. Yeah, but they just sort of adopted me so I'm the only woman in this group. We talked about business, we talked about current events, they gave me advice when I went through job changes. We hashed all of that stuff out and they were great and I so. Yeah, what an interesting example of a very unexpected community.

Speaker 2: 32:59

Yeah, Because, you did it regularly, every, every day for a number of years and what stopped it was COVID. So here's one thing. That was bad, covid, yeah, but and so but. Interestingly, they've kept me on the email chain. So they've all resumed. They. They do still go to coffee, but I've changed my routine. I don't get, I don't go in anywhere that early anymore, so I've you know, I just don't have the same routine, but they've kept me on the email chain. So I know, you know who's sick and, sadly, who might have passed away, you know, and if, if something's happening, they keep me in the loop, which is pretty cool, yeah.

Speaker 4: 33:46

Very cool and you know, some of the other examples were like the library, of course. I think that, for people who are crafty, yarn shops are calling for people to come and sit. I mean, I mean, you know they look um, crafters, whether it's knitting or quilting, or people go and they like to talk about what they're doing. So you could be from all different walks of life, but you've got that commonality, yep, and I think there's more going on to the sense of community there. Yeah, um, I just it's just been very interesting to see who are who. Who else opens eyes.

Speaker 4: 34:44

You know, and looks around and says hey, you know, do you want to?

Speaker 4: 34:48

do you want to come along? Uh-huh, Sort of thing. Yeah, you guys have other thoughts, other ideas for us. Oh boy, work friends, I would like to go. Oh, this is super funny, talk about connections and being at places all the time. I was going to say I need to start going to more twins games and stand at the same spot. I did that a couple of summers ago and you know, we kind of I would kind of see some people that I saw there.

Speaker 4: 35:17

I sold a house recently in my neighborhood and the woman was wearing full Vikings gear and I'm like, oh, are you a big sports fan? She goes, oh, I love the Vikings and the twins. I said, hey, I love the twins too. And we got to talking about it and she goes oh, you really should. Oh, and I knew she was a knitter and and I said something about oh yeah, and she goes do you ever go stand by Sue? Sue is the organist at the twins game. Okay, so I have been quite a few times. I am a little bit of a regular there, but I'm like, oh, yeah, my bet. You know, one of my best friends, lori, is always right by Sue and she goes. Wait, lori and her friend Kathy, they both knit, I know them.

Speaker 1: 35:59

I'm like oh my God, lori and I went to high school together.

Speaker 4: 36:02

Yes, so I'm selling a home out in the middle of nowhere with a woman who happens to be wearing a Viking skier, and from that we have this connection of people that she's good friends with them and knows them through knitting.

Speaker 2: 36:18

And now she's amazing, you know, do you want to?

Speaker 4: 36:20

work. Yeah, all because of me to comment about the Vikings and I didn't say. What I really wanted to say was football sucks yeah.

Speaker 2: 36:30

By the way, I'm missing the chiefs game.

Speaker 4: 36:32

I know yes we are, yes, we are. Oh, they'll still be on.

Speaker 3: 36:36

They take forever. We're good, okay.

Speaker 2: 36:39

All right.

Speaker 3: 36:39

What's the score now?

Speaker 2: 36:41

27-24.

Speaker 4: 36:42

Oh okay, you guys. Well, I'm for you. For you too, chiefs fans, let's table this loneliness and community discussion. Let's get to our three shots. I got a shot this time, you guys.

Speaker 2: 36:59

Oh, good deal. Would you like to go first, or should I go?

Speaker 4: 37:03

first. Okay, I want to target where I haven't been in forever, because it's just, it's not on my route, and I looked up something that I was influenced by online by making up for glossed time. It's a woman I love, jen, she's into fashion and she's into makeup and she suggested ColourPop and they have liquid matte lipstick. I don't really care for a matte lipstick, I find them really drying, but this was like 10 bucks and I gave it a try and I outlined my lips and you put it on and it's like lip gloss, but then it dries. I'm not kidding. This lasts all day and it doesn't get gross Nice.

Speaker 4: 37:53

I even love with it. This color is a Fifth Avenue.

Speaker 1: 37:58

It's lovely.

Speaker 4: 38:00

But this is the little tube. Ok, there we go. Color pop? Yeah, what does that say? Ultra matte lip.

Speaker 3: 38:10

OK, so then when it dries, could you put lip gloss or something on top of it?

Speaker 4: 38:14

I mean oh sure, sure, but the color really stays, yeah, and it doesn't bleed. You know lip liner, always use lip liner.

Speaker 2: 38:21

Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1: 38:22

And it doesn't dry your lips out.

Speaker 4: 38:24

No, no, yeah, so that's my pop Color pop.

Speaker 3: 38:29

Try that, definitely All right.

Speaker 2: 38:33

Anybody else I do. Since we've been talking about fashion, was that last week or?

Speaker 3: 38:41

no, a couple of weeks ago. Two weeks ago. Two weeks ago.

Speaker 2: 38:43

Yeah, talked about fashion over 50. And I can't remember if I've mentioned this early on when we just started the podcast, but there's a little online boutique that launched out of Nashville a little over a year ago. A couple of influencers that I'm obsessed with and I buy so much from them, and this is one of their pieces. This is a longer shacket, but I find it to be, I'm going to say, nicely priced. It's not I want to say full price. This is maybe like 90 or something like that. So it's not fast fashion, but it's just very, very on trend and I think many of the things are really wonderful for our age group keeping us stylish.

Speaker 2: 39:42

Keeping us stylish I think we talked a little bit about that on the fashion over 50. We want to be. I'm never going to shop at Talbot's. Yes, I'm not going to go in there. That's not my style, and so I feel like some of these online boutiques. It's called the Post. I'll drop a link onto our page here so that you can check it out. They drop new releases a couple of times a week and I just think they do a really beautiful job of curating a really nice assortment.

Speaker 3: 40:19

Cool, good, good, good. Yeah, I'm going to go back to my. Don't be afraid to make the first move. This won't be a first move, however. I'm going to reach out to two of my friends who we said a year ago when we went out to dinner We'll do this more often, and it's been a year. So I'm going to reach out to both of them and we'll set up a date. That's what I'm going to do. Good and do that with your other friends. You don't see often enough. But yeah, yeah, make a plan.

Speaker 4: 40:53

So thank you, thank you guys, for being my friends and listening to me again with my new life challenges. I know I'm not alone. I know that there are other women out there. I know because we get a lot of responses and I love it. So we're starting our own little community in Three Cocktails In on our Facebook page. We'd love to hear what people are doing, if they welcome new people to their group, where they go and if you think you've got a friend that would benefit from a little community. Hit the follow, hit the share, leave a comment.

Speaker 3: 41:30

We're very welcoming.

Speaker 4: 41:32

Not just of women, not just over 50, all ages. And if you're younger and only doing things with people from your kids' groups, take this with a little green assault. Maybe work on some friendships that aren't centered around the kids.

Speaker 3: 41:50

Yeah.

Speaker 4: 41:51

Yeah, it's good advice. All right, chica's. Ok, is it time?

Speaker 3: 41:57

Go cheer on your team. Yep, we're going to go watch Finish Wash in the Chiefs.

Speaker 4: 42:02

Yeah, it's going to be funny, because when this airs, everybody will already know Right.

Speaker 3: 42:06

But that's all right, it'll be just like condolences or whatever. Hopefully not All right. Bye, bye, ok, bye.

Speaker 2: 42:18

See you guys next week. Bye, peace out.

Speaker 3: 42:21

Peace out, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye.

Speaker 1: 42:25

All right, woo, look, I got that. Wow, who wants some heads up right now? We got that. Turn it up loud. I know you're wondering how I got that. Wow, here I go. Here I go, coming. I can't ever stop. I'm a tour de force running. Give me to the top. I don't need an invitation. I'm about to start a celebration. Let me in Brought a good time for some friends. Turn it up loud past 10. Turn it up the crowd when I hit them with a power. Yet